Coaching Through Chaos: Lessons from Caregiving and Navigating Uncertainty

Joanne Wong-Blackerby

This past week, I unexpectedly became the full-time caregiver for my mother-in-law. She was just released from the hospital with two spinal fractures and a complex regimen of prescribed pain medications. It wasn’t just physically demanding—it was an emotional whirlwind, with so many moving parts and so much to figure out, often on the fly.

Caregiving, I learned, is truly a 24/7 job. Sleep came in short increments between administering medications, repositioning her for comfort, and managing an endless to-do list. I had to organize the home to reduce risks—moving rugs, adjusting furniture, and rethinking how she’d navigate her space safely. On top of that, I found myself frantically cooking meals to freeze and label so she’d have access to low-sodium options once I wasn’t there to cook.

And then there was the task of diving into her 80+ years of life tucked away in closets and cabinets. I needed to find what was essential—sometimes buried under expired medications or long-forgotten household items—and clear out what was no longer useful. It was part scavenger hunt, part purging mission, all while managing the weight of being in someone else’s deeply personal space.

Amid all this chaos, I leaned heavily on my coaching skills to find clarity and direction.

The first thing I learned was the power of focusing on a clear outcome. There were so many opinions, emotions, and tasks to juggle, but we had to answer one question: What does progress look like? For us, it was ensuring she was comfortable, safe, and supported. That clarity helped me prioritize and rally everyone toward the same goal.

Second, I had to confront the hard truth about expectations. We all wanted the same thing: no pain. But the reality was, pain was inevitable—both for her and for all of us watching her struggle. Instead of chasing the impossible, we shifted to measuring progress on a pain scale and celebrating moments of reduced discomfort, however small they were. This reframing wasn’t easy, but it was necessary.

And lastly, I found myself asking, How do we hold this pain? Coaching has taught me to lean into discomfort, to explore what it’s teaching us, and to find ways to work with it rather than against it. Those lessons were my lifeline this week, helping me stay present even when the situation felt overwhelming.

As I reflect on the experience, I can’t help but see the parallels to the world we’re navigating right now. The chaos and uncertainty of caregiving feel a lot like the political and social climate we’re all living in: so many voices, so much pain, and so many people willing to help but unsure where to start.

We’re in a world where the pain is persistent—whether it’s division, inequity, or uncertainty. And like caregiving, the question isn’t about erasing it but about how we navigate it together.

• How do we clarify what progress looks like in the midst of noise and complexity?
• How do we set realistic expectations for change, knowing some challenges won’t disappear overnight?
• And how do we hold space for the discomfort while finding ways to move forward?

This week reminded me why I believe so deeply in the power of coaching—not just as a skillset, but as a mindset for navigating life. Coaching helps us find clarity in chaos, reframe what feels impossible, and focus on the small but meaningful steps that get us closer to where we need to be.

If you’ve ever found yourself using your coaching skills in unexpected places—whether caregiving, managing a crisis, or just making sense of our uncertain world—I’d love to hear your story.