Coaching Success Needs Relationship First

Lou Carter is the CEO of the Best Practices Institute and he recently invited me to speak on a conference call he had with several executives around global coaching, executive coaching best practices. One of the things that I thought about in both listening but also sharing ideas with the attendees of that call was this notion of relationships. Real authentic relationships as the foundation to great coaching opportunities.

Here’s what happens: If you think of athletes, if you think of entertainers, if you think of executives....they don’t get a coach to necessarily fix something, they get a coach to take where my big good were there certain things that are going well and they want to really take them to even a greater level, even a higher level of performance and execution and results. Coach and mentee relationships have to start with this idea of a of a trusting relationship. The person is not going to open up to you. The person is not going to share what they may be struggling with or their aspirations, if they don’t see, if they don’t feel that you have a vested interest in their success. That’s not going to come from you just telling them that they have to experience it.

If you’re trying to coach anybody or work with others or if you’re trying to get coached by someone, invest the time to get to know them. I do that through a meal. I do that through perhaps inviting them to my home. I do that through having a couple of calls or a couple of visits before we agree to work together because I want to make sure that I get them. I understand what they need and what they’re trying to do, and they also see that to my candor, through my ideas, through my questions. I genuinely do want to see them improve and change and elevate, often the behaviors or add additional skills that will get them to that next level. So again, if you’re coaching someone, if you try to mentor someone, if you’re trying to help anybody else raise the bar on what they’re doing and how they’re doing it, I would say come back and really start at the relationship first and build on it from there. NourGroup.com