Coaching Style

I am frequently asked by Executive Coachees and their stakeholders, 'What is your coaching style?'

Interestingly, whenever I hear this question, I instantly visualize the moment I stand in front of my wardrobe and choose the right outfit for each occasion. Basically, your style isn’t fixed but flexible and adaptable depending on the occasion. Simply put, you will choose a totally different style of clothes when you attend a board meeting, a team-building event, meet a key account for your company, join your best friend’s birthday party, or go for a beach holiday or mountain hiking.

To give you a glimpse of my coaching style, let me describe a typical coaching day of mine (Note that this was a usual coaching day before the COVID-19 Global Outbreak. We have shifted to virtual coaching mode since the outbreak happened.)

One of my current coaching projects involves coaching five senior executives from a global organization, and these leaders are based in Singapore.

I was in the client’s office all day a few weeks ago to conduct coaching sessions. Thanks to their considerate arrangement, I conducted five coaching sessions on the same day for the five executives, with a lunch break in between.

Reflecting on the coaching day, I realized that I used five totally different coaching styles with the five coachees.

#1 Directive and Explicit Manner:

The first session was very directive. I explicitly brought out a couple of things that she’s been stuck on and searching for; and also gave her some wake-up calls. We brainstormed solutions, outlined implementation planning, and discussed potential challenges and envisioned potential outcomes. It was intensive, but she said she felt great even though her eyes got moist a couple of times. Quoting her own words: 'It’s like going to the gym, you work out so hard and you sweat like hell, but you gain so much and you’re building physical strength.' This method instills discipline, strives for performance and excellence, and by setting clear goals, has a structure in place to succeed. It can produce good results fast.

#2 Illustrative Approach and Theoretical Learning:

The second session involved a highly illustrative approach. We used the whiteboard for most of the session. I drew frameworks, elaborated using markers, used theory, and real-life applications to exchange ideas and thoughts with the second executive. She was sitting at the table, and we lost track of time. This approach is intensive but can work well for driving results for specific work topics by providing a framework, guidance, and visible planning.

#3 Reflective and Rethinking

The third session was held in a cafe around the office building. I used lots of powerful questions so he had a chance to reflect and rethink. He was able to connect inner wisdom and access the hidden solutions residing inside him. It shines a spotlight on personal stumbling blocks and repetitive behaviors that are negatively affecting work, and at the same time, this approach offers solutions along the way of reflecting. With the belief that everything is connected and everyone has solutions inside themselves, this approach theorizes that individuals are a sum of all their parts. Hence, it requires balancing developmental needs in all aspects of their life. This type of coaching can take time to achieve results, and there’s the possibility that deeper, emotional problems may be triggered.

#4 Delightful and Fun

The fourth session was a fun session. I feel like I was teasing her along the way, and whenever I felt like making her realize things from a different perspective, I sent her a nudge in a light and fun way. When she received the signals, she was then quiet for a moment to focus on thinking. As she later said, 'Transformation is serious but can be fun too.' It can take a little longer, but it's very effective. It brings out accountability and freedom. Coachees feel self-empowered and in control, hence feel relaxed to transform.

#5 Interactive and Insightful?

The fifth session brought me back to the office as the fifth executive preferred to be in the meeting room. We had a chat like friends. It was interactive, intimate, and insightful. Metaphor was largely used in this session, and I witnessed a number of wow moments. This approach feels like a partnership and draws reflection, feedback, and perspective exchanging to really motivate and transform coachees.

My coaching style is certainly not fixed. It’s tuning in and flexible as per the coachee’s needs. The fact is that you definitely can apply more than one coaching style in one specific coaching session with one particular coachee. Choosing the right coaching style fully depends on the coach’s coaching sensibility and extensive coaching experiences.

Of course, every coach tends to bring their own unique style and expertise. If you were to seek out a coach, what type would you choose, and why?