A Coaching Story - Do You Agree With My Answer?

Client: I've worked for many companies, but never for a company that is family-owned and operated. When I first started, a co-worker warned me to be careful and steer clear of certain people, but I like to be my own judge of character.

Nevertheless, as time went on, I came to realize that many of the owner's friends and relatives work for the company and literally get away with shenanigans that wouldn't be allowed in Corporate America. Even the HR head hired her own relatives and fired good people to make room for her friend's daughters. I've also witnessed people get fired for exhibiting some of the same behaviors of these "privileged" employees.

I've decided to remain cordial, follow the policies, and not participate in workplace banter and such. My work speaks for itself. I've helped the company grow substantially, but I know for a fact that some of these guys don't like me very much. I've had some of my orders sabotaged, I've had to delay projects for weeks, because I couldn't get proper support from other departments.

Someone tampered with my car and I went to HR. They told me: "the cameras in the parking lot didn't catch anything."

Don't get me wrong, I actually love my job. I've just found it difficult to work with such unprofessional, rude, lazy, and entitled people.

Any suggestions?

Answer: There is a difference between liking what you do and being happy in an environment to do what you like.

The answer is easy for me but not an easy one to explain and I'm usually a bit reluctant to providing answers on a platform with a few paragraphs of explanation.

As an NLP Practitioner, and Behavioral/Executive Coach, I always have my clients to first look at the lessons in every emotional shift personally. Examine every experience especially, the negative experiences to determine why it's negative to you. Of course, I have to take my own advice too. We learn about ourselves when looking at other people’s actions and their impact on our emotions. The old saying “When your pointing your finger, there are three more pointing back at you” loosely quoted!

The new science of human interaction packaged as emotional intelligence is not new at all but very old truth's found throughout history on human nature and the workings of human interaction. Regardless of the wave of lessons on the subject, it all boils down to the fact that having a great work ethic is not enough. Emotional intelligence and studies with work-space and employee interaction, we see that those with high emotional intelligence have a better time at work, move up faster, and get paid more. So instead of giving suggestions, I would rather you ask yourself some questions.

Questions to ask yourself: 

Why does it bother me how they have hired and managed the company?

The human element is with any and all companies regardless of them being Corporate or private. The Dog park is the most honest place to be because dogs will tell you right off the back, if they like you or not. All companies have hypocrisy to different degrees so to expect or be taken-back by co-worker relationships should not be shocking.

The question is, did you find yourself finding hypocrisy in your last job? Is this a subconscious behavior in you?

If you feel they don't like you, is it simply because you’re not an old friend or family member? Have you opened up and allowed yourself to become one of the family members or are you looking with a raised eyebrow?

Most people judge others by their perceptions, not your intentions so doing a good job may not be coming across as well as you think. If you are feeling others don't like you, you have to consider if that emotions is coming across in some way.

Then ask yourself:

• Am I putting something out there to create this?
• If I continue with the same behaviors that I have displayed, what outcome will happen over time?
• How do I want to feel in my life?
• What does success in my job mean to me? - Define it!
• What outcomes will produce those experiences? Is it this job?
• What goals will initiate those outcomes - what can I start to do today?

Many times when you are on a path to something greater, the issues you have at your feet appear much smaller.