Coaching a Mentee; Mentoring a Coachee?

Confused? Too many definitions and ‘best practices’? Well I hope the following will help to clarify and define what Counselling, Coaching and Mentoring means at the workplace….in a language that I hope line leaders can easily identify with. Yes, it will be positively unsophisticated and will sound very simple but that’s my purpose. I am not ‘married’ to any school of thought or discipline. I am, like you, a user of these and my only goal is to ensure that my organization gets better every day in every way through   the people whom I lead and manage. I want things to be simple and straightforward. I know you do too.

So here goes my version of what Counselling, Coaching and Mentoring means:

Counselling : If you put a noose around the neck of the horse and force-fully pull it to where you want it to go and you happen to have a whip in your hand, that’s Counselling.

Coaching : If you stand behind the horse and gently nudge the horse to where you want it to go while ensuring it doesn’t walk into a bear trap, that’s Coaching.

Mentoring : If you stand side by side to the horse and you just walk along with the horse where ever it wants to go while having a lively conversation, that’s Mentoring.

 …and now to understand your role :

Counselling : You own the destination. Very much related to the job. You must know the terrain well and you must be willing to (or has the authority to) use the whip. Usually this is as a last resort before you decide whether you are better off without this horse. Coercion will be needed as you have a troubled horse.

Coaching : You own the destination. Very much related to the job but can have non-job related elements such as behavior and soft skills. You must know the terrain pretty well. Your goal is to make the horse feel it is finding its own way while knowing that you are providing all the safety net and early warnings of dangers along the way. No coercion needed as you have a passionate horse.

Mentoring : You don't own the destination. May not be related to the job at all and may involve personal and/or longer term issues. You don’t have to know the terrain that the horse has chosen. Your role is to tread the path that the horse has taken and allowing it to go its way. But, you have in your own life  journeyed through another longer, more challenging path yourself. So you know what it takes be successful on a journey - any journey.

 Finally, remember these:

1. Applying the wrong approach to the wrong horse can be disastrous. You could potentially turn a horse into a donkey instead of a race winner. 
2. Not everybody is capable of or willing to counsel, coach and mentor. Especially for coaching and mentoring, it requires a mature, confident and positive person to pull it off.
3. In my experience, it will take a year of solid hard work to prepare the organization (and especially the managers) to be ready to accept this as an added but required managerial role. In other words, you will have hell of a lot of work to do before you ask your CEO to ‘launch’ your coaching/mentoring program.
4. Don't aim to turn your managers into a coach or mentor. The aim should be on making them better managers and one of the many things they need to do to become that is to coach and mentor. Especially the former. 
5. Don't ever make this a manager 'KPI'. Convince them that its a given as far as their role is concerned.

 Wishing you and your horse a good race!