Coaching for Greater Empathy

One of the great challenges of our day is to make the workplace more human. One of the aspects of that greater humanity is the ability to relate to one another on a deeper level. This is not just for groups that we identify as "under-represented" but for our society and workplaces in total.

You see, empathy is not the silver bullet, humanity is. The ability to not just feel someone else's pain but to respond to them is a way that enhances our experiences together. If we are going to work with one another each day and accomplish greater goals together, we better learn how to relate.

If we are going to work with one another each day and accomplish greater goals together, we better learn how to relate.

The other aspect of this that matters is that we do it as individuals, not as groups. The groupology is neither authentic nor is it granular enough to solve things on a personal level. Groupology assumes a bit too much because it does not allow people to be individuals. Yes, it is fine to start with a framework of understanding but we must be able to let people be who they are as individuals to ultimately be successful.

Yes, it is fine to start with a framework of understanding but we must be able to let people be who they are as individuals to ultimately be successful.

"As a coach, I get to know people for who they are, and I interact with them based on that understanding. Since each person is unique, there's no one-size-fits-all approach that works for everyone, especially when dealing with adults. We are complex beings, and the most effective coaches recognize and respect our individuality. It's not a complicated concept, but it is one of the biggest challenges I've encountered, and I find it incredibly rewarding!"

Coaching people into greater empathy involves several key elements that accompany refusing to see them as a group:

1. Understanding Perspectives: We all come from a unique perspective built upon our experiences, thinking styles, and understanding. Coaches help leaders recognize and understand different perspectives, opening themselves up to how others approach the world. We encourage them to see situations from multiple viewpoints.
2. Appreciative Listening: To understand others, we must learn to listen to and appreciate them. We teach leaders the value of active listening, which involves not just hearing words but understanding the emotions and intentions behind them. This helps in responding empathetically. If we refuse to listen then we should get used to missing the mark when/if we respond.
3. Validation: We should always be willing to reflect on "how we happen to others" to manage our interactions and hone our leadership styles. We teach leaders, how to master validating others' feelings, even when you don't agree with them, so you can grow a deeper level of influence. Acknowledging other's emotions as valid and worthy of respect is the tip of the iceberg.
4. Influence Mapping: As we operate in teams and organizations we should know where to work and how to prioritize relationship building. The reality is that we will not have the same relationship with everyone and some of those relationships are more important to us than others. Just like we do with consultative selling, we use influence mapping exercises to help individuals visualize and understand the needs, desires, and challenges of others. You have to see it to manage it better.
5. Modeling Behavior: One of the toughest elements is modifying your behaviors so they are not so driven by your own needs for validation and actualization. We lead by example. In that we have to learn how to demonstrate empathy in our interactions, in ways that are authentic, spontaneous, and come from a genuine place of caring. In each interaction we are not just dealing with one another, we are showing how our organizations and teams should interact. This is not an internal motivation but is part of leadership character development.
6. Encouraging Curiosity: It is impossible to pretend to be a "people person", but developing a sense of curiosity is achievable. It is like discovering a new country or culture - a child-like openness enables you to approach people with inquiries, and their answers serve as a guide for your journey. Many leaders believe that they should do all of the talking, but that is not the case. As a leader, everyone can already see you. It is through curiosity about others that they can flourish. We assist leaders in asking open-ended questions to gain insight into others' perspectives.
7. Practice and Feedback: Reflecting upon oneself is an excellent way to gain insight, just like taking some time to think at the end of a challenging day. As coaches, we assist leaders in becoming accustomed to paying attention to their thoughts and emotions. We believe that both are important and therefore, we help leaders manage and monitor their interactions. We offer practice opportunities and provide useful feedback to our clients. In addition, role-playing activities can be highly effective in enhancing empathy skills.
8. Cultural Sensitivity: As we mature, we become aware of the differences between people and the similarities among them. Our goal is not to carve the world into tribes but to humanize everyone in it. It is easy to talk about different cultures as groups and never really understand them. You will never master the lifestyle of someone else until you understand what frames and energizes your own, but you can and should be able to participate in others without feeling uncomfortable.

This coaching journey is customized to suit every individual's abilities and pace. Some people may excel at certain things while others may take longer to pick them up. Nevertheless, the coaching process will move according to each person's speed. However, there are common objectives and outcomes we strive towards.

Our approach combines various techniques to assist leaders in enhancing their empathy skills, which leads to more compassionate and understanding interactions. This not only makes people feel better but also improves team performance!