Coaching Chemistry

This newsletter is written jointly with my 11-year old autistic/ADHD son whose passion is science. In each edition, he will start by talking about a scientific phenomenon. I will then relate it to coaching and write about its application to senior leaders. My son’s part is unedited and indicated by a block quote notation. My part that follows will be in normal text. Hope you enjoy this unique format!

Snake venom

Snake venom is an exciting topic, since I have already talked about postsynaptic neurotoxins, I will talk about presynaptic neurotoxins.

Presynaptic neurotoxins are the opposite of postsynaptic neurotoxins, because instead of being unable to relax muscles, you are unable to use them.

Presynaptic neurotoxins inhibit phosphatidylcholine 2-acylhydrolase, that the body is unable to transmit acetylcholine.

That is pretty much it for presynaptic neurotoxins.

The inland taipan, the most venomous snake in the world, uses a mix of presynaptic and postsynaptic neurotoxins, it’s LD50 value, the dose lethal to 50% of the population, is 0.025 milligrams per kilogram of body weight in mice.

The above section is the unedited writings of my son.

?

Snake Venom and Coaching

Why are we suddenly talking about snakes?

Because it’s Lunar New Year right now ushering in the Year of the Snake! Plus my son’s Chinese horoscope is the Snake. How can we not talk about it? ???

Snakes are a great metaphor for the coaching process. They shed their old skin as they grow. Just like in coaching, where we shed our old limiting mindsets and beliefs to grow as a person.

But, of course, my son will wants to talk about snake venom. So what’s the connection between snake venom and coaching??

The funny thing about snake venom is that the anti-venom is made from injecting small amounts of the venom into domestic animals and collecting their antibodies.

This is analogous to coaching where a toxic mindset is often processed through the reflection that a coach gives back to the coachee. Awareness is change. By simply being aware of their blindspot or limiting belief, the mindset is changed.

Let’s look a little deeper into coaching toxic mindsets.

Which Neurotoxin Do You Have?

The difference between presynaptic and postsynaptic neurotoxins is that one causes the body to be unable to relax the muscle while the other cause the body to be unable to tense the muscle. Muscles work by tensing and relaxing so both actions are essential.?

In coaching, I find the same dichotomy. Some coachees are unable to get go of the beliefs that no longer serve them. Others are unable to adopt beliefs that are useful for helping them reach the outcomes they want in their lives and work.

Take stock of the things in your life that you “want to do” or “should do” but don’t.

Do you need to give up on a viewpoint you are holding onto? Or do you need to adopt a new perspective you don’t currently have?

?

Presynaptic Neurotoxin: The Case of Raymond

To illustrate, consider Raymond (not his real name), a client of mine. He’s a successful CEO with a wife and child, helming an important subsidiary company in a difficult market.

Since his promotion, work has been so overwhelming that he has sometimes not seen his family for weeks. Plus, there are many days when he’s so busy skips all his meals in the daytime only to binge at dinner and his exercise routine has fallen by the wayside.

He knows he “should” take better care of himself and his family. So, what makes him continue to work like he does?

During our coaching sessions, Raymond shared that he was the sole breadwinner of his family. He grew up poor and wanted to provide his family the best. Moreover, his current company has given him opportunities he wouldn’t get elsewhere. Both personally and professionally, he is committed to excelling at his work.

The viewpoint he needed to give up was his equating long hours and hard work with work performance.

We examined the effects his punishing schedule had on his physical and mental health. He admitted that at his age, the fatigue built up interferes with his ability to make quick, sharp decisions. It was also causing him to be irritable when his coolness under pressure was always his greatest strength.

He realised that working harder wasn’t making him more effective.?

It was an old paradigm he had to give up. But hard work had gotten him to where he is today. Like someone poisoned with presynaptic neurotoxin, he struggled to let it go.

The turning point came when during a session, he described a hospitalisation he had late last year for a transient stroke. It suddenly dawned on him that if that stroke hadn’t been transient, his life would be very different now. This realisation helped him give up his belief on working harder.

Postsynaptic Neurotoxin: The Case of Reena

Reena (not her real name) was a South Asian senior leader heading the Indian operations of a Fortune 500 company. She was due for promotion to a regional role but struggled with imposter syndrome and self doubt.

In our sessions, we examined her competencies, and she readily acknowledged that she was an outstanding leader who exceed expectations in both work performance and team development.

Yet, she was completely unable to convert this knowledge into her belief in herself.

Despite evidence of her capability, praise from others, and repeated attempts at self-affirmation, she continued to be unable to install this belief in herself.

What changed was an awareness she gained during one of our sessions of her fears about adopting this new belief. She didn’t identify with the new belief, and she was afraid this change would mean she was no longer “herself”.

We spent the session discussing her definition of herself. Who did she want herself to be?

In the end, she decided she truly would no longer be “herself” if she changed but that was exactly what she wanted. Like a snake, she wanted to shed the skin of her old self to grow into a new self.

Beliefs and Coaching

Studies show that core beliefs are formed by the age of 7 (see footnote below). However, a child’s perspective may be immature and prone to misinterpretation. Thus, many core beliefs you’ve adopted may not be helpful to you later in life.

Hence, the ability to rewrite your beliefs can be invaluable in helping you to achieve the outcomes you want in life.

How do you go about changing beliefs then?

Coaching is one of the proven methods for belief change. It involves an exploration of your beliefs in an open, non-judgmental space.

Through questions, coaching helps you to examine why you hold the beliefs you do, what benefits you’ve been accruing from these beliefs, and what consequences you’ve suffered from them. Then, you are free to decide what is a more useful belief you want to adopt for your current situation in life.

Simply being aware of these previously unconscious beliefs lead to change. But controlling the change to move it in the direction of the outcomes you want is also part of the coaching process.?

It’s hard to simply remove beliefs. Far easier to replace one belief with a more helpful one.

As Marshall Goldsmith says, “What got us here won’t get us there.” The beliefs that brought you the success you’ve enjoyed thus far may not work for you moving into the future.

When that happens, replacing or modifying them will ensure you continue to enjoy success as the rules of the game and your capabilities change.

This is precisely what I help my clients with. My work as an executive coach revolves around helping clients to rethink their current mindsets, rewrite their limiting beliefs, and review their blindspots.

If you’re interested, book a free discovery call to explore how we can work together: https://tidycal.com/serene/discovery

#coaching

#mindsets

#beliefs

#snake

Footnote: Shonkoff, J. P., & Phillips, D. A. (Eds.). (2000). From Neurons to Neighborhoods: The Science of Early Childhood Development. Washington, DC: National Academy Press.