Coach, Teacher, Mentor, Trainer: What it takes to be great

I was watching a television special on Coach Dean Smith of the UNC basketball team. It made me think of other great coaches. John Wooden, Pat Summitt, Vince Lombardi, Don Coryell, and Steve Fisher, just to name a few. There are many things they have in common but these are the traits they share that I think have the most relevance to those of us who are coaches seeking to help others attain and expand their potential.

Passion

There's a lot written about passion, here are a few of my favorite quotes on the subject:

• “Every great dream begins with a dreamer. Always remember, you have within you the strength, the patience, and the passion to reach for the stars to change the world.” - Harriet Tubman
• “There is no passion to be found playing small—in settling for a life that is less than the one you are capable of living.” - Nelson Mandela
• “Nothing is as important as passion. No matter what you want to do with your life, be passionate.” - Jon Bon Jovi
•  “You have to be burning with an idea, or a problem, or a wrong that you want to right. If you’re not passionate enough from the start, you’ll never stick it out.” - Steve Jobs
• “I have no special talents. I am only passionately curious.” - Albert Einstein
• "I want to feel passion. I want to feel pain. I want to weep at the sound of your name. Come make me laugh, come make me cry... just make me feel alive." - Joey Lauren Adams

Joey Lauren Adams is a Golden Globe winning actor and director. She's appeared in more than 40 films and television series. I've included her quote because it it the closest to what I think the coaches above think about passion. Passion is about feeling, strong feelings, that cause emotions to gush forth. Vince Lombardi, equated passion to the "fire that burns inside" and the magnetism that attracts others. Pat Summitt believed that allowing people to get to know her and how much she cared about them was vitally important to being a successful coach. All of the coaches listed above felt that way.

The best trainers, managers, and consultants I've known over my 40 + years of doing this were passionate. They had that fire. They cared about their people.

Caring

I feel strongly about things. I dream. I seek to make things happen. I believe in others and myself. But mostly, I care. I used to coach a women's company softball team. Before I became their coach they won three games in three years. One game each year. They weren't very good and the felt that way. We worked long and hard as they built their skills and their confidence. In time, they became league champions. These were the same women. What was the difference?

Two things: they improved their skills and as they improved their confidence grew. All I did was teach them some basics and show them how much I cared. Because I cared, believed in them, and wanted them to do well, they began to care and wanted to do well. 

There was a woman on the team who was afraid to catch fly balls, but she was fast and could throw the ball long and accurately so she had to play outfield for us. Not wanting her to get hurt, we agreed that it was okay for her let long fly balls land in front of her, catch it on the bounce, and then throw the ball in to keep the hitter to first base. However, she really wanted to be able to catch the ball on the fly. It became a goal. She worked at it and worked at it. First, with little pop ups thrown to her and gradually longer and longer fly balls hit to her.

One night, we were playing a game and a long fly was hit to her in the outfield. She had a look on her face that was simply DETERMINATION. She pounded her glove and moved into position to catch it in the air, no bounce this time. The other team had two runners on base ready to score knowing she'd let the ball land in front of her. They didn't see the look on her face. Our whole team did. She pounded that glove two, three, four times and then, with a slight bobble caught the ball for an out.

She started jumping for joy holding the ball above her head. I watched the two runners tag up and score easily as our whole team and I ran to the outfield to celebrate this moment with someone we cared about. The runs weren't important. What others thought wasn't important. She and her accomplishment were important. We were happy for her.

We eventually won that game. I have no idea what the score was or anything else that happened that night. The only thing I remember is "the catch" and the laughter and tears we all shared in left field as we jumped and laughed together. 

Humility

Truly motivational leaders have an abundance of confidence that inspires others and a sense of humility that engenders pathos, increasing their followers' ability to identify with them. It seems a bit of a paradox, that someone can be extremely confident and at the same time sincerely humble. Not everyone can do that.

Great coaches know that their proteges must believe in them and their methods. They also know that they must establish trusting bonds. They know that demonstrating competence and results generates credibility and belief in their systems/processes. They also know that humility allows for bonding. Any coach, who is any good, has tight bonds with their players or proteges.

I once had the great privilege of taking a college course taught by Don Coryell when he was coaching the San Diego State Aztec football team. It was a Monday night class called "Coaching Football." He would show game film of the previous Saturday night game and break it down for those of us taking the class. It was held in a lecture hall that seated 300 people. About 350 attended, some sitting on steps in the aisles, at the back high above the stage, or outside listening at the doors. Coach Coryell was one of the great innovators in college football. When he coached the San Diego Chargers, his offensive juggernaut was called "Air Coryell". His ideas changed offensive thinking for the decades to come. We were all there to listen to a great man.

We sat in rapt attention as he wound and rewound the 16mm film to illustrate his ideas. What I remember most, is how he referred to his players. He would make little jokes, give them nicknames, and chuckle a lot. When things went well, all the credit went to his players. When they didn't go so well, it was his fault. He had to work harder or find a better way to teach his players what to do and how to do it. "Coach", as those who took the course and who knew him called him, was one of the most brilliant, innovate coaches to trod the sidelines. Even so, he was a humble man who thought first about his players and the game. He was beloved in the town and among his players. I choke up a bit thinking about him.

Emotion

When you care. When you're passionate, you are emotional. You can't help it. I've been in many locker rooms after wins and losses. I've been in conference rooms celebrating successful projects and in somber private meetings after working hard and coming up short. I've seen tears of joy and tears of defeat. 

Most of the  coaches I've admired do a good job of being even tempered. However, all of them get "fired up". They are passionate, emotional people. They care. When off the field, court, or diamond, their feelings come out. Their charges react and respond to these feelings. emotions and energy surges. Great effort is exerted. Great things are accomplished. It's amazing to watch and more amazing to be a part of it.

I've been mentoring trainers and consultants for many years now. I feel it is my obligation to pass on knowledge and expertise learned during my four decades of training and consulting. I care about my profession. I'm happy when it makes great strides. I'm frustrated and angered when people do half-assed jobs, with little thought and shallow understanding. I want to stop that. I want this profession to be respected, its practitioners highly skilled. It is one of my goals to play a small part in making that happen.

But mostly, I care about the people whom I have worked with over the years. I can truly say that I have very fond affection for the large majority of them. There are some with whom I didn't get along or who didn't like the way I did things. I'm okay with that. I wish them well and success in their careers and lives.

There are many, many more about whom I care deeply and with whom I keep in touch. We laugh. We cry. We feel together. They are wonderful friends and I delight in talking with them, listening to their success stories. I am sad when things don't go well. I offer help when I can, advice when asked, and encouragement all the time.

Closing

Thank you for reading this. I know there are those who may disagree with what I've written, who feel that professionalism is more important than gushy emotionalism. I respect their perspective. It's not that I'm not professional. I can be. But, I prefer to be just "regular guy". I don't take myself too seriously, but I like to write and talk about my thoughts on things. I think I've earned that privilege by doing what I do for nearly 40 years. Even so, I also realize that these are my thoughts and may not be shared by others. So, again, I say: Thank you for reading this. I'd appreciate hearing your thoughts on it.