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Alpa Kapadia Teli, PCC, Coach
Executive Coach for Leaders who want shift in BEING. I Shadow Mastery Facilitator I CEO & Founder- Ignite the Spark I Passionate Speaker
Many Coaches are not Coaches - they are Mentors - disguised as coaches.
Which is ok - if you Mentor when you call yourself a mentor.
But if you call yourself a coach and you are mentoring instead- it is harmful.
? ?????? ???????????? ???????? ?????? ???????? ?????????????????? ???? ?????????? ?????? ???????? (???????? ?????????????? ?????????? ???? ?????? ???????? ????????)
? ?????? ?????????? ???????? ???????? ?????? ???? ?????? ???????? ?????? ?????? ?????? ???????????? ?????????? ???????????? ???? ????????????
? ?????? ???????????? ?????????? ???????????????????? ???? ???????? ??????'?? ???????? ???? ???? ???? ?????????? ?????????????????? ?????? ?????? ?????????????? ???????? ??????????.
? ???? ?????????? ?????? ???????????? ?????????????????? ???? ?????? ?????? ???????? ???????? ???????????????? ?????????????????? ?????? ???? ????????
I have a couple of clients who will ask my opinion on everything - will ask me before taking each step
?? ???? ?????? ????????????
If I was a LESS EXPERIENED COACH
OR
I was a COACH who was eager to show value to my clients for the big bucks they’re paying me, I would have answered
??To show how much I know and how AMAZING I am
??To show what a great decision they made by investing with me
??To show how much value I am adding to them,
??To show how indispensable I am
BUT
I don't want to be the brains behind THEIR business. I am a COACH. I am here to help them find their own answers - NOT To give them ALL the answers.
I will make them think - I will make them DO THE WORK and when I am satisfied they have applied themselves FULLY :
??They may have already found their answer
??I hold space for them to process their finding/insights
??I might THEN give my perspective or IDEA and leave it to them to implement in the way it works for them.
????♂?It takes a hell lot more time
????♂?Its inconvenient - I can just give the answer - I KNOW it - I was there too
????♂?It is tough to hold the space for them as I see them going through growing pains.
????♂?Some get offended sometimes - thinking because they’ve paid me - I owe them an answer (haha)
But that is my style. TOUGH LOVE
??I believe in HOLDING space for you as YOU build YOUR muscle ??
??I believe in watching you emerge yourself from the COCOON and becoming a RADIANT BUTTERFLY??
If I HELP you get out of YOUR COCOON, I will make you a very DEPENDENT and under- confident Butterfly??
I do give suggestions & Ideas
But they are earmarked in BUSINESS CONSULTING / MENTORING /INTUITIVE MARKETING sessions - as we lay the foundations of your business to scale.
Here too - I will offer you my experience and give you options. What you do with it - is your CHOICE.
I WILL NOT SPOON FEED you on EVERY decision.
YOU KNOW WHY?
??When you take a decision yourself - it gives you the joy, confidence and contentment in achieving your results
??When you follow someone’s cookie cutter approach, without integrating it and making it your own - it gives you a feeling of inadequacy and incompletion.
So when you are investing - Think
Are you looking for a coach or mentor?
When you give your money away,..
DON'T GIVE YOUR POWER AWAY
DON'T GIVE THE RESPONSIBILITY OF YOUR LIFE AWAY
DON'T GIVE YOUR OWN SOVEREIGNTY AWAY...ALONG WITH IT!!
Reclaim your Sovereignty darling!
ITS YOUR LIFE & ITS YOUR BUSINESS
Executive & Leadership Communication Coach | My work lies at the intersection of leadership and communication. I enable senior and emerging leaders to leverage the power of their presence to create influence and impact.
3 年Thanks for sharing your perspective Coach Alpa Kapadia Teli. A lot of coaches share in private that in reality and especially in our country there is no 100% pure play coaching in many cases . There is some element of mentoring request that creeps in . This is when you politely mention that you are not the expert in their domain or contracted to be a business consultant . And if some ‘ advice ‘ is pushed for it can be done at the end of a coaching session after the coaches hat is off. ( outside the purview of what is agreed and in the interest of the partnership shared with client ). I would not go to the extent to say that the client is not capable to find solutions on his /her own or don’t wish to own up for them to seek advice . Very often it is to pick up some nugget from another’s journey for inspiration. In sum always stay true to your role as coach and strictly stay away from offering advice . Having said that if the client requests for some mentoring / advice either we contract differently to keep clear boundaries or if it’s an occasional support that can help then do it with the coaching hat off post the session to respect the partnership.
20+ years in HR Transformation | Talent Strategy | Aligning Strategy, Culture and HR | Executive Coach (PCC) | Worked across continents solving key challenges involving People and Culture
3 年The beauty of coaching is to invite and lead people into embracing change which can be so difficult to acknowledge first and then embrace it later. I think sometimes a coach is equally terrified of that change or hasn't navigated their own shadows and therefore finds it most convenient to provide answers instead of holding empathetic space to help coachee discover their change process and staying detached from the outcome. That's why we do all the self work before attempting to help others do it.
ICF PCC Women Leadership Advocate | Mindfulness Facilitator | Leadership Communication Expert | Performance Coach | Corporate Wellbeing Specialist
3 年Well said and l honour your for that always. We can sustain or grow only when we seek our own difficult answers n create our own mechanism based on our mission our internal environment.
Global Leadership & Team Coach, Start Ups Mentor, Facilitator, Media Coach
3 年Thank you for asking, Coach Alpa Kapadia Teli. I have dropped you a note.
Executive Coach for Leaders who want shift in BEING. I Shadow Mastery Facilitator I CEO & Founder- Ignite the Spark I Passionate Speaker
3 年Shilpa Agarwal Deepa Mahesh RESHMMA GULATI, ICF ACC Coach Ketaki Malhotra (ICF-PCC) Preeti D'mello Priya Sharma Shaikh Amrita Singh Nidhi Arora Nitasha Adya Namita Sinha? Success Coach Meenu Bhatia, ACC Rajesh Gangwani Rajeev Raju Deepak Dongre Puja Talesara Bhandari would love your thoughts on this article. I think it is a really important topic to be discussed.