CO-DEPENDENT RELATIONSHIP

Most women have affairs for very different reasons than men.

Experts say that a large majority of the time, motivations differ by gender, with men searching for more sex or attention and women looking to fill an emotional void.

When Megha  and her husband moved to Delhi a few years ago, she had no friends close by and was alone frequently while her husband worked long hours. Though Megha says her husband was the "best friend someone could have," the spark and sex were gone.

Seeking company and a little romance, Megha was ready… wanting to have an affair.

Megha  began an ongoing affair after a few dates with a man. "He was giving me all of the stuff my husband wasn't -- attention and affection," she says.

There are many reasons for infidelity such as revenge, boredom, the thrill of sexual novelty, sexual addiction.

'I was lonely, not connected, I didn't feel close to my partner, and I was taken for granted,' " I wanted to have someone who would look into my eyes and make me feel sexy again."

Every affair is different, and so are every woman's reasons for her involvement.

Nevertheless, Rutgers University biological anthropologist Helen Fisher, author of Why Him? Why Her?andWhy We Love, says men are more likely to cite sexual motivations for infidelity and are less likely to fall in love with an extramarital partner. Women, she says, tend to have an emotional connection with their lover and are more likely to have an affair because of loneliness.

"Women tend to be more unhappy with the relationship they are in," Fisher says, "while men can be a lot happier in their primary relationship and also cheat. Women are more interested in supplementing their marriage or jumping ship than men are -- for men, it is a secondary strategy as opposed to an alternate."

“I don't think women are doing it because they want to have more sex. But I don't think they mind if they get it," "It is not really about sex per se as much as the experience of being with somebody."

Another scenerio :

Aloka  left her marriage emotionally long before she had an affair. She says she was living with a lot of disillusionment in a disappointing, sexless marriage.

"You feel the loss of your dreams and hopes and how you thought things would turn out," Aloka says. "I was very lonely; I could never understand the concept of being lonely in a marriage until it happened."

Aloka  began to flirt with other men to get attention, but she never considered having an affair. After a business trip with a friend turned romantic, she began a long-term affair, a path she admits she was likely on anyway as her marriage dissolved.

Using another partner to transition out of a bad marriage is one of the common reasons women have affairs.

They are on a sinking ship and use it as a life raft because they don't want to just jump into the cold water

Some women have affairs during periods of vulnerability or life change, like when a child goes off to college or after a job loss. They may see it as a form of comfort during upheaval.

Another common reason is a cry for help in the marriage.

Affairs are almost always caused by problems in the marriage. Therapy may be helpful to avoid going down that path.

"People have affairs because they are looking for something”

Women are also less likely than men to have an affair that "just happens" because they tend to think longer and harder about the situation, experts say.

Some women take time "to warm up to it," Marcella Weiner, adjunct professor at Marymount Manhattan College, says. "Going in and leaving quickly isn't their thing. Men can walk away more easily because their emotions are just different and it is unusual for a woman to want to have sex and forget about it.”

The information on this POST is not intended or implied to be a substitute for professional advice .All content, including text, graphics, images and information, contained on or available through this article is for general information purposes / educational purposes only, and to ensue discussion or debate.

Thank you … Think about what it takes to have a good sexual experience. You can see how a lack of trust in marriage would limit that. Your partner is always giving you excuses, as “tired” or don’t feel to, or similar.

If your partner suddenly starts seeing new friends afterwork or weekends, your should watch out.

Well, what do think ? Want to add something …?

Your thoughts …………………?