CLUELESS AT 30: THE BOOK

When I was six years old, mom asked me, ‘What do you want to be when you grow up?’ I smiled and responded, ‘Detective.’ Everyone laughed at my cuteness. Later, this question took on many different forms, ‘What degree do you want to get?’ or “What would you like to do next?’ From a smile, it went to a grin, then to a smirk, and sometimes even a tear. Every time someone asked me these questions, a dark cloud cast over my head. I did not have an answer.

You can constantly sense the clock ticking and time running out to find these answers so that you can be ahead on the fast-track lane to become an overnight sensation. You see, we belong to the ‘instant gratification’ generation; we want everything quick and easy! But unfortunately, life happens, and you know things don’t go the way you want them to. You don’t know your starting point, or simply where to begin. Isn’t it amazing how some people have always known what they wanted and have everything figured out? Was it a gift to have one’s life in such order? Was the lack of such planning an undesirable thing? When you are in this conundrum, you find yourself stuck on a hamster wheel, unable to move out of it, leaving your mind, body and soul entangled with unsettled thoughts.

You hate the not-knowing bit. You bury it. You escape it. You fight it. You feel like you are walking on a fashion show ramp with a five-inch pencil heel. All you want to do is finish the walk without falling flat on your face and embarrassing yourself! But you started to stumble in the middle, and you desperately need a hand to help you walk this through. Of course, you don’t want people to know how off-balance you are because you want people to think well of you. So you decide to walk with the utmost confidence, with a strong posture and make it to the end with your dignity intact. But one day, you fall flat on your face. I did.

There is no escaping this feeling of wanting ‘more’. Not having more means settling for less. And that is no good. What can you do? How do you escape this looming sense of mediocrity? Where can you find the means to end this tragedy? How can you find passion? How do you avoid the burnout and finally come alive?

These questions inspired me to think about social identity and identity crises and author the book,?“Clueless at 30.”

Now, I do not have all the answers. And I’m not here to share worksheets or tips. Oh wait, did you think this was yet another self-help book? No, I can barely straighten my crooked self and get myself out of my badgering misery, most of the time. Here, we shall talk about care and treating yourself better. Think of this as a self-care book. The self-care thoughts described in this book will help you reflect on your inevitable state of flux; it will detail the ways in which you can modify your perception to stop feeling so crappy about yourself.

Each part of the book describes the workings of a clueless mind. The book moves through four different phases of cluelessness: Fear of Missing Out (FOMO), Search of Better Options (SOBO), Joy of Letting Go (JOLO) and Move Forward (MOFO).

Once you finish reading the?book, you are going to be kickass. Not because you will become the next Elon Musk or the next Van Gogh; but because you changed your perception and attitude about everything around you, including yourself. You decided to care for yourself. You decided to take the high road. Probably you are still as clueless as before, but at least you are not feeling worthless about yourself.

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