Closing the Negotiation Gap

I am sitting in an office chair, across from my boss, in the silence.? This silence is brought to me by the question: “What can I do for you?”? I made the appointment with the intention of negotiating a better professional life for myself.? I cleared my schedule.? I put on an outfit I felt great in.? I had my hair cut and nails done.? And now I’m sitting there, and it’s my turn to speak.? What will I say?

If envisioning this potentially awkward scene made you deeply uncomfortable, join the club.? As women, most of us are uncomfortable and underprepared to negotiate for ourselves.? A landmark study by Linda Babcock and Sara Laschever revealed that among 2003 MBA graduates only 7% of female grads negotiated the salary of their first job versus 57% of men.? As recently as 2024, a workplace study from Indeed revealed that only 43% of women globally had ever negotiated their salary.? There is robust evidence that the negotiation gap is partially responsible for the durable pay gap among women in general (paid 27% less than men, all other things being equal) and among women physicians (paid 26% less than male physicians, all other things being equal).??

I can tell you that I was in the 93% of women just starting out my career: I didn’t negotiate anything for my first compensation package.? In fact, I didn’t negotiate anything for the first 6 years of my career, even though I consistently added value at the highest levels of the company.? I didn’t think it was my place, as a woman, as a new partner.? Obviously, now I realize that it’s my role as a human being employed in a capitalist system and as a breadwinner to advocate for myself and my family at any stage and in any scenario. Since that time, I have successfully negotiated fair compensation packages for four roles in three organizations. Moreover, as a leader doing the hiring, I have witnessed the difference in who speaks up for their value and who doesn't.

So what worked for me?? What can work for you? And in general what can we as women do to close this gap for ourselves?? Here is what we know from hard data on women and negotiations:

• Center on our impact on others.? ?When women negotiate on behalf of someone else, they perform better in negotiations.? If we frame our request for a higher salary, more vacation, or a better schedule as a quest to take better care of our families or to better serve our patients, we may both inspire ourselves and better thread the needle of being perceived as caring while being assertive.
• Practice, practice, practice.? We can set an intention to negotiate as frequently as we can, especially on things that don’t matter that much.? Can the tire place throw in a tire rotation when you buy a new tire?? Will the wine shop throw in a bottle of the new wine they’re stocking in exchange for a review?? Can a longtime contractor (lawn care, housecleaner, hairstylist) keep your price stable or add a service because you’re a good customer?? Will the coffeshop give you a free cookie?? You’ll be surprised what you get if you ask.?As it turns out, often our only barrier to getting some benefit is the fact that we didn’t ask for it.? Additionally, the more time we spend at the negotiating table, the more frequently, we practice the skill, the more frequently we approach the table and the better we perform in negotiations when it matters.
• Prepare for negotiations.? We should spend at least as long preparing mentally for a negotiation as we spend preparing physically.? Women negotiate more and better for salary if there is a defined salary range, or, as researchers Maria Recalde Lise Vesterlund say ?“ambiguity amplifies the difference.” We often rely on our negotiation counterpartner or boss to supply a range of salary or an idea of what is possible, but doing your market research beforehand is a better approach.? Your boss - because they do not care as much about your salary as you do - likely does not have that information at their fingertips.? We should be able to say (and site) “others are paying X” or “the industry standard is A to B dollars per hour,” defining our own jumping off place.

Hopefully, with these tips, you’ll be ready the next time you are at the table negotiating a job offer or ask for the opportunity to re-negotiate for your current role.? By preparing, practicing, and centering on values we can be ready mentally and emotionally whenever we next sit in the negotiating seat.