Closing the C-Gap

Closing the C – Gap!

Did you hear what I said?

Often, we don't. The lost art of communication could be the loss of your greatest resource - your people.?Often people don't hear what you say, they hear what they 'think' you say.

How did we get to this place in our world??Why is communication so poor?

First of all, let’s look at the function of the brain, or in this case – the disfunction of the brain.?We are wired to connect with others.?In a world where connection has been isolated to a ‘like’ or a ‘thread’, we have inadvertently retrained our brains to misunderstand.

The misunderstanding takes place through interpretation.?

Since the sound bite of communication is largely through the content rather than the intent, we assume we know exactly what the other person meant when they said what they said.?We assign emotion, tone, and intention to what amounts to 7% of the actual message.?And now that Twitter, Facebook, and other forums utilize this approach as their means of engagement – we have a perfect storm.

An effort was made not long ago to create emojis that would add to our messaging, but it only helped in minor ways.?I can only use the poop emoji so many times until someone – somewhere misinterprets that.?Therefore, looking at the whole message – Words, Tone of voice, and Body language - is our priority.?

Secondly, and unfortunately – we are talking at each other rather than to each other.?After a long pandemic where isolation was high, many of us forgot how to talk with each other.?

We know this, we’ve experienced this, and now it’s time to fix this.?

Communication is the fuel that powers relationships. Relationships are the lifeblood of our organizations. Without clear influential communication we cannot succeed.?

Did you know that the prefix in communication (com) means to invite, welcome, connect and bring together? Is that at the heart of your efforts to communicate and create healthy communication in your organizations??If not, make it your baseline and build from there.?

Communication is meant to be an exchange that creates understanding. The base definition of communicate is to impart, transmit, and make known. Many of us are transmitting, but not receiving, making understanding and trust difficult.

Stephen Covey identifies understanding as the fifth habit in his bestselling book, "7 Habits of Highly Effective People." It's critical to: “Seek first to understand, then to be understood. Seeking real understanding affirms the other person and what they have to say.”

Remember, we don’t hear what people say, we hear what we think they said.?

We need to slow down our brains long enough to see the communication gap, acknowledge our role in it, and help close the communication gap.?Within the context of actual tools that make a difference, allow me to share one that comes from the TL – Transformational Leadership suite of tools.

It’s called the SLOWER Listening Model.?

SLOWER

• S – Square up (body language) and Silence (internal position with an external evidence)
• L – Lean In (body language) and Listen (internal position of taking in the message)
• O – Open Posture (body language) and Open-Ended Questions (after listening, ask an open-ended question that will help you listen even more)
• W – Willingness to engage (being present is the greatest way to honor another)
• E – Eye contact (making eye contact allows the other to know you are there and see them)
• R – Relax, Respond, and Repeat (relax in a way that the other person doesn’t feel like you’re just waiting to move onto the next thing, respond to what you’ve heard, and repeat it back if necessary)

Imagine improving communication every day in as many ways as you can. The gap that exists today happened, in part, because someone didn't believe it was possible to address and make better. We do.

Lead Well and Prosper!

Patrick McBane?is a Lead Trainer - Director of Global Initiatives for Transformational Leadership, Founder of?Marketplace Solutions and Owner - Life Needs Leadership, LLC.

Transformational Leadership?helps you identify, address,?and remove personal, team and process?constraints. Removing these constraints allows?transformation to occur and encourages healthy, trusting relationships to grow.