A Close Look at the "Upholder" Personality: Are You a Hermione?
Gretchen Rubin
6x NYT Bestselling Author | Host of the "Happier with Gretchen Rubin" Podcast | Pre-order "Secrets of Adulthood," out April 1st
It’s time for the next installment of “Happier with Gretchen Rubin.” (Remember, if you’d like to get an email alert every time we release a new episode, you can sign up here.)
Today is the first in the series of four episodes that we’re devoting to the Four Tendencies. Today, Upholder! That’s my Tendency.
Try This at Home: Take the Four Tendencies quiz here. Find out if you’re an Upholder, Questioner, Obliger, or Rebel.
Strengths and Weaknesses of Upholders: Think Hermione Granger! Ah, Elizabeth knows me, and consequently the strengths and weaknesses of Upholders, very well.
Striking Pattern of Upholders: My fellow Upholders, do you also experience “tightening,” where our expectations for ourselves get tighter?
Our producer Henry is an Upholder, and he weighs in on his own experience with tightening.
Listener Questions: “How can Upholders balance interior and exterior expectations?” “I live with an Upholder, and find it impossible to meet his expectations.”
Elizabeth’s Demerit: Elizabeth missed the blood moon. So did I, by the way.
Gretchen’s Gold Star: I love this Funny or Die video of Jewel, where she goes in disguise to a karaoke bar.
Call for comments, questions, observations!
We’re spending four weeks talking about my Four Tendencies framework for human nature. We’ve already had many thought-provoking responses, but we want more.
- Take the Quiz to find out if you’re a Upholder, Questioner, Obliger, and Rebel here.
- Listen to Elizabeth and me discuss the framework here.
- Read the chapter on the Four Tendencies in Better Than Before
Please, send in your questions and comments by voicemail, email, etc.
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Gretchen Rubin is the author of the blockbuster New York Times bestsellers, Better Than Before, The Happiness Project, and Happier at Home. She writes about happiness and habit-formation at gretchenrubin.com. Follow her here by clicking the yellow FOLLOW button, on Twitter, @gretchenrubin, on Facebook, facebook.com/GretchenRubin. Or listen to her popular podcast, Happier with Gretchen Rubin.
Photo: ursulakm, flickr
Graphic designer and art director since 2000 with experience in print, marketing, advertising and collateral
9 年I definitely am a questioner, tho my default answer is to uphold unless I have a reason to rebel
Graphic designer and art director since 2000 with experience in print, marketing, advertising and collateral
9 年I'm a questioner. The upholders in my life really keep me in check! I love obligers as everyone would, yet they can drive me crazy. And I don't have time for Rebels! They tend to challenge my core values
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9 年??????
I was very evenly split, across the Upholder, Questioner & Obliger lists. That doesn't surprise me much. I've always been a bit category-defiant.
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9 年I knew I wasna Rebel. Is this a bad thing when it comes to work & working with others? I work hard & passionate in whatever I do. But once the expectation is present, it turns the drive away. I like "surprising" people of what I'm capable of, rather than them expecting what I could contribute.