Climbing the ladder of Success

I am going to put myself out there in the world of authenticity and become extremely vulnerable with all of you. I have been working on updating my resume. Yes, I know language can manipulate everything to make all my jobs appear flowery. But, the black and white print is just so two dimensional. Tony Robbins says what we focus on is where our energy flows. Well, for the last twenty years or more, my energy has flowed to being a very intentional parent.

My kids at this point, look around the house and wish my energy and focus had been on having the cleanest, clutter free house in the neighborhood. Sadly, my energy only extended to making sure that clean underwear and clean bath towels were a given! Since we are being honest, it was easier having a clean house when they were small. There were nap times, smaller shoes, and the Clean up Pick up Song from some Nickelodeon or PBS TV show to sing while getting work done. And, working from home, meant I wasn't running out the door, trying to pack lunches for everyone and remembering to brush my own teeth let alone having everyone else brush theirs.... and oh...not forgetting to let the dog out.. ( did I remember to let her back in?)

I left a teaching job when my first born child was 17 months old. It was my desire to be that intentional parent present in the daily care and raising of my son. For the first year after he was born, the challenges of balancing work and child needs were felt. Was it really an ear infection? Did I have to take him to the doctors and miss a day of work? Often, after a hard day of working with at-risk students, I would stop at the coffee shop to sit for twenty minutes. This moment of quiet allowed me to regroup before switching hats to that of mom. Ultimately, I just didn't have enough inside me to give to a classroom full of children and to my family. My income was needed, so I opened a home based business. I turned my home into a licensed day care facility, myself being the director, marketer, caregiver, and cook.

Since my background and training was in education, I provided educational and age appropriate activities for the children in my care. Little prepared me, however, for the 10 hour days of diapers and runny noses. The diapers and runny noses were of little consequence, I was able to be pick my baby up from his nap and smooch his warm, smooshy cheeks. During the first couple years of business, my daily number of kids average about six. Those years are represented by many diapers, hand washing, bleach, and meal preparations.

Why did I work full time out of the home? My husband was starting his commercial real estate business. I don't really recommend simultaneously starting two business' , but we did. For many months, my income from day care provided the only income our family received. I learned early on not to ask when when a closing would take place- all of you in real estate understand. Closings dates can change on the whim of an inspector or a rain drop. It happens. Delayed closings, postponed payment for the hours and hours my husband worked creating that opportunity. So, I worked.

Two years into owning my business, and those years being self insured for health care, baby number two came along. She never went to a day care. I only took two weeks off after her birth before resuming the care for other children. Bills needed to be paid, and I like eating. My state license for day care said only 6 children in my care, including my own, so the amount I earned was greatly diminished. My third child came along 19 months after the second. By this time, I was able to take a bit more time away from day care. However, until the girls were close to school age, I provided care for others in my home.

I am not going to give you my resume in full right now. I will, in all likelihood, have it updated on my Linkedin page. What I am saying is that it is damn depressing trying to encapsulate in black and white what the last 20 years have been career wise. No wonder those in their late 40's and early 50's start their own business. Who wants to face the fact that you have a Master degree in Toddler Ease ? Of course, I may pride myself a bit in knowing how to talk to high school students, if we don't count my own. I can name at least 5 current hip hop artists and know what eating an 'edible' means. Where exactly do you put on a resume the fact you had a student tell you how to make wax- the kind that needs a torch to heat up? Right.. You don't.

Finally, in being honest, I did not think to take the time to carve out time for me- and I own that. The need to survive financially and the crazy schedules of 3 busy kids superseded personal development. It wasn't until the kids reached middle school and above that the thoughts of "what am I going to be or do when I grow up" surfaced into more that a passing fancy. Risk taking. OMG. I am too old to take risks, well, not really. So, here is my resume: I am the proud mom of 3 highly intelligent, colorful, and thoughtful human beings. They have a mom who has walked beside them all their lives creatively financing their dreams. In helping them pursue those dreams, this mom started multiple businesses, worked multiple part time jobs, and out hustled many. The main caveat before starting anything new, how did the work impact my ability to be a present parent?

So, as far as goal setting, and achievement on the stated objective: Intentional Parent, I am one of the most successful working moms around. Although, I am not the only one who has had this objective. We are legions. We are the lawyers, doctors, accountants, and teachers that chose to build our own ladders, with time for our children being the rungs of advancement. By no means is this an indictment on the many moms who figured out the integration of work and home life, but an affirmation to myself and others. The moms, whose under employment and part time jobs, had a specific purpose meeting a very intentional requirement need recognition, not derision.

As an aside, there is additional salt to injury on recreating a resume covering the last 20 years, the first child graduated from college and moved a 17 1/2 hour drive away. There definitely is no manual preparing a mom for this heart breaking event. It is often the last time your child will live under your roof. You have prepared them for moving on, and when they do, you are shocked they took you up on the notion. So, for all you HR types reading my article, hire the mom re-entering the workforce. She is very capable of running the entire program, making cookies, and driving the fundraising events. On top of being capable, she will work circles around the millennials wanting nap pods, who refuse to show up to work before 9am, and she will work past 5pm to finish a project that offers no existential meaning to her life other than it needs to get done.

I am mom, hear me roar from the top rung of the ladder.