"Climbing Above Traumatic Loneliness"

Since I was a child I walked a very lonely path of existence. This path I did not choose, rather it was provided to me through adverse life circumstances.

I remember up until the age of nine years old that I was popular, curious, and more creative than I am now. Destined to be the next big Hollywood film director, little Corey had the world in his hands and his dreams on the horizon.

When I moved from Manitoba to Hamilton, Ontario. Something substantial changed within my perception of innocence. Physical and emotional abuse became an everyday survival. My heart kept getting more scars to the point that I felt I must deserve this pain, and subsequently wished for death because of it.

I wanted nothing more than to be accepted and loved. But the voice of Corey became nothing more than silence. An empty hole became wedged inside my soul. I tried to fill the hole with drugs, alcohol, and women. But nothing would ever make the pain go away, not even for a minute.

To be honest, most of my bad habits have been eliminated from my life. But the one thing that still remains is the hole in my heart. It will take time before it can fully heal, and every day I do my best to love and take care of myself the best I can so that it will.

When I see all the problems I got myself into with my past. I understand how much I didn't want to exist in this reality. It was like being reincarnated into hell through the eyes of a human being. But I do forgive myself for the mistakes I made, and also know that being a victim to life will only cause more pain.

Our hearts need to heal and rest. When we change the perception from victim to growth mindset, we can allow those painful experiences to lay the foundation for a much better life to live.

Sometimes things happen in life that is out of our control, we can choose to live inside these moments or to rise above them so that we can finally breathe oxygen again. Walking the universe alone and unloved for so long has been an exhausting journey for my soul & heart, and that is why it's so important to take care of myself now so that I can rest.

I love myself for being courageous enough to not give up. Sometimes my body will attack my mind with the stored emotional trauma energy from the past. Sometimes I'll start crying and I don't even know why it's happening. But no matter what this is the life I have, this is the body I have. There is no other way but forward. I couldn't keep complaining and seeking sympathy from my environment. Momentary validation does nothing to fill the void of emptiness. I know this to be a fact as I've gone down this road already.

Our hearts watch us fall, persevere and grow, and from this process, the hole can and will eventually become filled. We can be dealt the hardest hand in life, but we have the power to turn that card into a beautiful experience. Anyone that's reading this and feels lost and trapped within the victim archetype. Free yourself of this perception by seeking out answers with your curiosity.

The largest project we have to build in this life is not a business or something exterior. It's reconnecting with our child-like imagination and finding our true selves again. Feeling comfortable with who we are and loving ourselves for being able to make it to the top of the mountain of life.?This is the only place we can find inner peace and authentic love.

Grow and seek, and never stop learning ever. The greatest piece of advice I was ever given is that we know nothing and that we should always be on a continuous journey of seeking answers. While on this path of searching for the meaning of life, we can begin to reduce our suffering by gaining more wisdom on how to overcome our circumstances.

One day soon that empty hole in our hearts can take a metamorphosis into something wonderful, we just have to keep moving forward and never look back.

I'm proud of anyone that has the courage to walk on the path towards peace and fulfillment. You're all truly the reincarnation of Resiliency in its purest form.

Good luck and God bless you.

Written by: Corey Preston?

#mentalhealth #trauma #addiction #recovery