Clearing the Path: Reflecting on 500 days Alcohol Free

This week's article was authored by?Curtis Scaplen, Co-Founder of Leadership In Focus, and President of Action Consulting.

"Life is not merely a series of meaningless accidents or coincidences, but rather, it's a tapestry of events that culminate in an exquisite, sublime plan." ~ Albert Einstein

Life is a Pressure Test

Life is full of pressure and stress. Whether we are leaders managing the development of our teams, under pressure at work to meet performance expectations, or balancing the demands of personal relationships, it can be overwhelming. Many times, we turn to vices like alcohol to cope with life's stresses, creating a precarious relationship. In this newsletter, I share my personal journey, which centres on discovering how to continue growing as a leader without my constant companion by my side.

A Huge Milestone

Recently, a milestone appeared on my calendar - one I never anticipated in my life: 500 days without alcohol. Alcohol had been a constant presence in my life, often perceived as a positive element rather than a negative one. It accompanied social gatherings, business networking, and family get-togethers at our summer cottage, establishing a backdrop of friends, laughter, and, of course, drinks. It functioned more of a companion than an adversary.

As I found myself leaning more heavily on alcohol to cope with significant life events, I took a step back and asked myself, "Is this still serving me?" What started as a 30-day challenge evolved into 100 days, and I haven't looked back since. At one point, I couldn't imagine a life without enjoying alcohol, but now, I can't envision going back.

Here are ten reflections from my alcohol-free journey:

Less Worry about Logistics

In the past, I often found myself preoccupied with the logistics of a night out because I wanted to drink. Questions about who would drive, whether I had enough for an Uber, or if I should stay overnight and return in the morning?would occupy my mind. Not having to think about this anymore is incredibly liberating. I can simply hop in the car and go. Initially, I feared it might be a hindrance, but it's actually a newfound freedom. I can go where I want, leave when I want, without being tied down by any logistical concerns related to drinking.

Greater Presence

While alcohol undoubtedly alters the mind, my emphasis here isn't just on being in the moment. I now find myself with increased clarity and presence. When I'm with someone, I'm fully and completely there. I'm not preoccupied with thoughts of a drink or where we should go next. Being fully present is a gift.

Reimagining "Playing Hard"on Weekends: Work Hard, Play Hard is NONSENSE

I used to live by this mantra, but when you really think about what "playing hard" means in the context of alcohol and unhealthy food, it becomes clear how absurd it is. My idea of playing hard used to involve binge drinking and indulging in unhealthy food without guilt because I was disciplined during the week. Imagining rewarding oneself with poison and junk is a stark perspective shift. My weekends now genuinely involve play. Recently, I've spent hours hiking in nature, coaching my kids in early morning hockey practices, playing ball hockey outdoors, and reconnecting with my inner child, playing with passion.

Heightened Emotional Awareness - No More Running or Distractions

How often have we heard or said, "You need a drink" or "I could use a drink"? It's a default, socially accepted reaction. In fact, one might say it's considered normal. I hold no judgement for those who enjoy a drink or let loose, as I've certainly done so. Personally, I realized I was using alcohol as a distraction to avoid dealing with the real feelings and emotions I was experiencing. I was filling a void with a drink or several, instead of facing my emotions head-on.

Healthier Coping Mechanisms for Life

Life is filled with ups and downs. Alcohol was always a go-to tool for celebrating highs and managing lows. Now, I have much healthier strategies for navigating life's challenges. I've learned to meditate and sit with my thoughts. I recognize that when I used to reach for a drink, it might signify something else - so off I go for a walk or a workout at the gym, or I'll call a friend to confide in. A significant support system has been connecting with close friends, especially other men, who are open to sharing and discussing emotions, and challenging societal norms that encourage burying or avoiding them.

Tighter Inner Circle

During my most difficult moments, I noticed there were always friends around when I wanted to drink or go out. However, the circle truly tightened when I needed deeper companionship. My inner circle is incredibly close-knit right now, and interestingly, I probably have closer relationships than ever before. While there are a few who live far away or whom I haven't connected with enough, in general, the people in my life are there for the right reasons.

Appreciating the Little Things

I often find myself gazing at the stars, or pausing mid-hike to admire nature or listen to the ocean waves crashing. A morning coffee, sunrises and sunsets, birds chirping (even the early-morning crows at 6:00am) resonate differently. I have a newfound appreciation for life's little blessings.

Improved Emotional and Mental Health

I've alluded to this theme throughout the preceding points, but what many people may not realize is that, contrary to the belief that alcohol helps us relax, it actually heightens anxiety. Have you ever noticed how, after a night of drinking, or even just a few drinks, the mind feels more chaotic? Since I stopped drinking, my emotional and mental health have improved significantly. Being fully present allows me to recognize thoughts and emotions that are fleeting or beyond my control, enabling me to rein in the mental gymnastics. Instead of turning to a drink to calm my nerves, I opt for healthier alternatives, contributing to a more robust foundation of mental and emotional wellness.

Abundance of Outstanding Non-Alcoholic Options

The quality and variety of non-alcoholic options are expanding. Thanks to trailblazers like Ted Fleming at Partake Brewing , Deborah Coleman and Mitch Cobb at Libra Beverage Co. , we can now enjoy great-tasting beer without the alcohol. Additionally, I recently attended a Health Food show in Toronto and was amazed by the numerous excellent sober options available to us. This is an exciting development for the next generation, who will not view drinking with the same perspective as my generation or those before us, representing a significant step in the right direction.

Being a Better Father

I've always taken pride in being a great dad, and most would agree that I always have been. However, I've become an even better father without alcohol. The quality time I spend with my children and the activities we do together have multiplied since I stopped drinking. This was illustrated by a comment my 8-year-old son made to me this summer: "Dad, thank you for saying yes to me a lot and doing lots of things with me, like having a catch or going fishing - not all the other Dads do as much as you do with us." This feedback was the most meaningful affirmation I needed to continue on this journey.

Closing Thoughts

"The best way to predict the future is to create it." ~ Peter Drucker

Life is not only possible without alcohol, but it's also remarkably fulfilling. What once seemed an unimaginable concept has become a wonderful reality. For anyone contemplating a lifestyle change or sitting on the fence about embracing sobriety, let me serve as an example of someone who has completely shed alcohol from their identity and feels incredibly positive about it.

ABOUT THE AUTHOR:

Curtis Scaplen is the Co-Founder of Leadership In Focus , President & CEO of Action Consulting, and Head of Business Development at Seasoned Pros. Curtis is a proud father, entrepreneur, and growth facilitator. He lives to challenge the status quo and is obsessed with solving customers’ problems. He was born in Saint John, NB, and a graduate of the University of New Brunswick. Curtis is a relationship-driven leader who has over 20 years of experience across many industries. His curiosity and need for continuous improvement have led him all over the globe. He has worked on unique projects in every major city in Canada and over 30 countries globally, building iconic brands, and partnering with some of the world’s largest suppliers. He is passionate about the “why” and since moving back to Atlantic Canada from Toronto in 2015 he is dedicated to the growth and sustainability of the Atlantic Region.