Cleaning The Conservatives' Stables - A 'Labour' of Herculean Proportions

Rishi Sunak, labelled ‘Dishy Rishi’ by the British press, does dress sharply with his hair in place, his shirt cuff-links a quarter of an inch out of the sleeves of his jacket and the bottom hems of his trousers kissing his ankles fashionably, but he is no Adonis. British press cartoonists regularly portray him as a puny brown Asian man with forgettable biceps and non-existent muscles. It needs a leap of faith to imagine him as Hercules. Yet a modern day political Hercules he is, considering what all he is trying to do!

In Greek lore and mythology, Hercules is believed to have carried out and completed twelve massive efforts, known as ‘the twelve labours of Hercules’. Of these twelve, the fifth labour is most interesting and difficult. Hercules was asked to clean the stables of King Augeas in one day. The reason why this was a most difficult and unpleasant task is that King Augeas had 3000 cattle in his stables which he had not cleaned for over 30 years. You can imagine the tons of dung lying there and accumulating for years. You can also imagine that if anyone did try to clean it, he would be inundated by the fresh excreta of 3000 cattle even before he could clean a small corner. Hercules managed to do this in one day by combining his mental agility with physical prowess. He made giant openings in the two opposite walls of the stables and then dug trenches to alter the course of Alpheus and Peneus, two nearby rivers, making their waters gush through the openings and thereby cleaning the stables.

Sunak’s task is no less difficult, daunting and messy. The gigantic mess that his predecessors in 10 Downing Street have left after a decade of misgovernance characterized by bullheadedness and tomfoolery actually dwarfs the mess in King Augeas’ stables. If Hercules had to clean the mess in a day, Sunak has to clean the mess bequeathed to him in just over a year. Low growth, high inflation, low public and private investment, NHS stretched to its limits, huge shortages in labour force, mounting problems due to rising numbers of illegal migrants and the negative effects of a Brexit delivered in a most unsuitable way blighting the economy would have made it tough even for magicians. Yet Sunak has calmed the markets jolted violently by Liz Truss’ foolhardiness, guided Hunt in delivering a very credible budget, almost solved the Northern Ireland dilemma with his ‘Windsor Agreement’ with the EU, laid the foundations of a new ‘Entente Cordiale’ with France after years of hostile relations, used this new bonhomie to push France to accept a greater role in stopping the small boats carrying illegal migrants from its shores, taken new initiatives to resume normal relations with Europe that had gone into cold storage after a bad-tempered Brexit and has also travelled to the US to meet Biden for a twin objective – to seal a tripartite nuclear submarine pact between?UK- US -Australia and to lay the groundwork for a US-UK trade deal. In between these feverish activities he also found time to single-handedly nudge and persuade HSBC to buy the insolvent SVB (UK), thereby rescuing the UK tech industry from collapse and averting the adverse fallout of the crash of SVB (US) in UK financial markets. He also nudged the BBC to climb down in the Gary Lineker affair, indirectly nudging his ultra-right Home Secretary to cool it too, so that it doesn’t become a BBC versus Conservatives controversy. And as I write this piece news has just come in about the UK joining a global trade deal – the Comprehensive and Progressive Agreement for Trans-Pacific Partnership (CPTPP). On Sunak’s initiative the UK also looks all set to join the EU’s flagship Horizon funding programme, which will give UK companies access to funding in research and innovation. This all-round dexterity – economic, financial, political and diplomatic – that he has shown is amazing. Like Hercules, who faced immense problems from other Greek gods jealous of him, Sunak too faces huge problems from his own party with aspirants for the top job ready and eager to trip him at every step. The saner elements in his party and also in the UK public, however, recognize what a boon he has been to the country at this stage.

The comparison ends here. The success of Hercules was everlasting and eternal. After completing all twelve labours Hercules was granted immortality and allowed entry to Mount Olympus where he went on to live with his father Zeus. In contrast, Sunak, even if he succeeds in cleaning the mess, may lose the next general elections as Tories seem to have lost the confidence of the public. The Labour party, if it wins, will be a most grateful gainer, benefitting tremendously from Sunak’s ‘labours’. Anything is possible though in politics and it is too premature to write an epitaph. Let us hope Sunak too succeeds in climbing his Mount Olympus.