Clean Speech Illinois Volume 2: Week 25 - Don't be Snarky

[Watch the video at?https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dROl8knK-DY ]

In the previous three lessons, we addressed some of the attitudes that one should develop in order to naturally speak in a more positive way. Now we’ll present some tricks, tips and tactics that will also help.

Don’t talk about problems globally, as if the person is defective or deficient. Address the behavior, not the person. Be clear and specific, and avoid statements that make people defensive. “Stop that annoying tapping on the table” rather than “You are so annoying sometimes.”

Speak in a way that shows clearly that you’re interested in solutions. Don’t just complain, blame or criticize. Bring up challenges in order to fix them. “We need to figure this out” rather than “We have a problem here.”

Focus on what can be improved, not on what was done wrong. Bringing up a painful incident from the past with no purpose is?onas devarim. “I appreciate when you refer to me respectfully” rather than “How could you say that about me?!”

Avoid speaking in extreme terms. Leave out words like “always” and “never” and don’t exaggerate. If you do, the listener will take issue with the exaggeration and reject your whole point. “I don’t get to hold the clicker enough” “OK, here” rather than “You never let me hold the clicker” “Yes I did once.”

Don’t make snide or snarky comments. “That is not something I want to spend my time on” rather than “How about never? Is never good for you?”

?Let’s be the change we want to see in the world.

Avoid speaking in a mean way about people who are mean. Model proper speech. “I do not subscribe to that way of communicating” rather than “Don’t speak like that clown.”

?Try This at Home:?Today, make a point of putting the brakes on your mouth and leave out counter-productive words.