Clean Speech Illinois Volume 2: Week 12 - Not Even Normal

[Watch the video at https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9FlPpwvHZ9s ]

“Let’s go on the new roller coaster, the Goliath!” one boy suggests to the group. They are visiting Six Flags and everyone is wildly in favor of the idea. Only David, the boy who is afraid of heights, hangs back as they all make a dash to the Tower of Doom’s long line of restless ticket-holders.

?“What’s the matter, David?” one of the boys calls over his shoulder.

?“Oh, you know, I don’t like going up that high,” David answers, trying to sound casual. The friends have all known each other — and each other’s quirks — for years. “

?“You’re 14 years old already!” his friend exclaims. “It’s not even normal! You better get help.” He laughs and runs to catch up with the other boys, thinking nothing more of his comment.

?David is an athletic, bright, and good-looking teen. But at that moment, he feels like a pathetic wimp with a big sign over his head: he’s not normal. He glances around the periphery of the Tower of Doom, hoping to see some others lingering on the sidelines like himself. All he sees are strollers with babies. Babies and David. “Why can’t I just get over it?” he chides himself.

The term “normal” is a rock upon which many individuals’ self- esteem has been haphazardly smashed. People dearly want to be within the realm of normal: not too tall, not too short; not too smart, not too simple; not too nice, not too selfish. It doesn’t take much for a debilitating sense of self doubt to be activated — like when someone tells us that we’re not normal.

The label of “not normal” comes in many forms:

• You should really speak to someone about that [habit, fear, problem]
• What’s wrong with you?
• How could you think such a thing?

And all of them deliver the same verdict: that of strangeness.

These are terms that can throw a healthy person with “normal” insecurities into a state of distress. Imagine what they can do to someone who really does suffer from emotional or social issues.

There may be times when we have to communicate to someone that they need help. In such a case, we have to choose our terms very carefully and refrain from causing any needless pain. There is rarely, if ever, a useful purpose in labeling someone “not normal.”

God created each of us with unique strengths and challenges.

The Talmud actually says that just like no two people’s faces are the same, no two people think the same way*.

Our task is to appreciate, not to deride, the distinct personalities that populate our rich and diverse world.

?*Talmud Berachos 58a

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?Try This at Home:?Today, look for a unique character trait in a friend or family member, and appreciate it.