Clean Speech Illinois Volume 1: Week 24 - Righting Wrongs

Clean Speech has ended. You can still check out the videos of New York's volume 2 at https://www.youtube.com/@cleanspeechnyc5456

or Colorado's volume 5 at https://www.youtube.com/@CleanSpeechColorado

In Illinois, we are continuing doing a refresher course of Volume 1 each week on Linkedin and Facebook.

Watch this week's video?at https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0it6Kth0CUY ]

We’ve been introduced to Bud and the stack of twenties, and we started by asking the first of seven important questions: “Is it true?” But we need to ask a few more questions before deciding what to do and say about Bud.?

For question number 2, we have to ask, “Is it wrong?”?

You saw Bud take a stack of twenties out of the cash register and put them in his pocket. It looked like he was stealing, but maybe not. Perhaps he was asked by the manager to bring the twenties to the back office. Maybe the ski shop owed Bud some money, and he was justified in taking it. And even if Bud really stole the money, maybe his conscience got the better of him later in the day, and he quietly put it all back.

Before we say something about Bud, we have to be certain that what he did was genuinely wrong. If we aren’t sure, the right approach is to judge Bud favorably, and assume the best about him and the money.

It’s also worth noting that if your intent in speaking up about Bud’s potential theft is to protect the ski shop from future loss, it would not be necessary to know clearly that what Bud did was wrong. It would be good enough to say, “I might have seen Bud steal some money.” However, this assumes that the rest of the seven questions have been answered.

As Sallie Krawcheck, the CEO and cofounder of a women’s investment platform, notably said: "Assume the best intent in others around you. You will often be right, and even when you're not, people can rise to your view of them."

The next question we need to ask is: “Did I speak to the offender first?”?

The first person to speak to about Bud’s potential theft is - Bud. Perhaps Bud will sufficiently explain why he took the twenties and put the concern to rest. Or, perhaps, rebuking Bud about his theft will encourage him to admit what he did to the owner of the ski shop and return the money. Because the constructive intent here is to get Bud to repay the stolen money, if we rebuke Bud directly, we accomplish the goal without having to say anything that might be lashon hara.

On the other hand, if you know confidently that Bud wouldn’t listen to your rebuke, you don’t have to offer it.

Additionally, it’s worth repeating that if your intent in speaking up about Bud’s potential theft is to protect the ski shop from future loss, it would not even be necessary to rebuke Bud first.

In the next few videos, we’ll ask questions 4 through 7 and figure out what to do and say about Bud.?

Daily To-Do:??Look for an opportunity to speak directly to someone who you feel concerned about—and not to speak about them to others.