The Classified Adventures of Owl- in which Owl and Scarlett Pimpernowl Go Supersonic to Rescue Belle, Take a Wrong Turn and Find the Mad Grand Vizier

Season 6, Chapter 6

?Story so far.............

Last chapter: https://www.dhirubhai.net/pulse/classified-adventures-owl-which-visits-reclusive-her-pamela/

Owl of O.W.L. (Owl Woo-Woo unLimited), our intrepid idiot savant Morepork Owl and covert operative from the NZ Bush in The Hundred Acre Wood [Ed again: yeah, yeah, shut up about fake news and A.A. Milne] , Scarlett Pimpernowl and her Band of Karma Chameleons from Madagascar are on their way to rescue Owl's ex, the delectable Belle Epoque (athene noctua), and Leafy Green, his only begotten son [Ed: Owl has had lots of girls] from the Rain Forest in The Million Acre Wood. Owl has gone AW-OWL once again and commandeered a Super Special Supersonic Ride. But the trip will not be without mishap, misstep and mayhem!

[Ed here again: Apologies in advance for all the terrible puns, disgusting language, rude ambiguity and subtle innuendo! This is a Bedtime Story for ADULTS ONLY!]

Image: Pixabay Rainbow

Read on.......

Owl: Its Moi! I'm en route to the Rain Forest. I'm super-excited to be on this Super Special Supersonic Speed machine (SSSSM1) with Scarlett and her Band The Chameleons. We've hit Big Mac π=βΣ??????? and are cruising at altitude. Our feathers are flat, our legs are up and we're heading Σast.

I'm just going for a nap and will leave my Head Swivel on auto. Ahh, what's that shriek? Scarlett are you alright, my Liege Lady?

Scarlett Pimpernowl: Owl, you ClusterFl**k Feathered Fool! We're turning left and going north. What have you done?

Owl: Oh, demnation! There must be a wee glitch in my Head Swivel. We appear to be heading due Πorth instead of ξast. I'll just make a correction. Grrr, Nerrr, Ahhh, Nnnn, I can't seem to wrench it round. I'm stuck!

Scarlett: Right Hoo, Owl. I'm taking the controls now. Hold on to me. I'll talk to the control tower on the Northern Branch. Twitter, toowit, toowoo hoo, hoo, are you receiving me? Come in, Wiss-Key, Zoo-Loo, Row-Me-Oh, Nin-Er, Zee-Ro. Are you receiving me DART? What about ROCKET? Are you on duty? Yes, hoo's that? Hoo's OWLETTES?

Owl: Groan! I'm humiliated again! The former Brownies of Brown Owl, The Owlettes, now the Handmaidens of Gr?fin Mariza, The Neue Marschellin, Kapa di Kapi of the Worldwide Wood (www.). Get them here Pron-toh. We need a fix.

Scarlett: They say to meet them at the Kiosk at the Palace. Its about half-way.

Owl: What palace, for "furry unders can kicka**" 's sake?

[Ed: First warning, Owl]

Scarlett: Top-Kapo-ski in ConstantOwlBull where the Grand Vizier lives. He might be able to help.

Topkapi Palace, Enderun Library, ?znik tiles decorate the interior: Wikipedia

Cut to the chase to the Kiosk of Top-Kapo-ski where The Owlettes are upbraiding Owl in their usual manner.

The Owlettes: Owl, you drongo! We warned you to oil that Swivel of yours. Now listen up. We're in the bailiwick of a Pasha. We're going to have to hang in the Courtyard of the Concubines. We want the Chameleons for invisible protection.

Courtyard of the Concubines: Topkapi Palace, Istanbul

Josep Renalias - Own work

You better get on with the fix fast, Owl, before we're summoned by H.E. The Mad Grand Vizier Deli Hüseyin Pasha. He's partial to twins and we don't want to have to kill him. We need to get out alive. He's been very successful at war with the Middle Wood Branch of the Bullshitter Cretins , and now he's at war with Zurnazen Mustafa Pasha who's out to replace him.

Città di Candia - Francesco Basilicata - 1618

Owl: (musing & pleasantly unchastened) I do miss you, Owlettes. That chapter has passed but you're useful and I can't let you fall into the hands of the Pasha. However, since I'm here, I hear tell there is a Treasury in the Palace. I always need more L-$$ty. Word along the branches tells me that P-Hooty is pals with the Pasha and he's storing the rest of P-Hooty's L-$$ty that I haven't been able to get my hands on. Perhaps I can fit in a little heist with the rescue of my Darlings? What say you, Scarlett?

Door to the Imperial Treasury, Topkapi Palace, Istanbul (Hazine-i ?mire) Gryffindor - Own work

Scarlett: I don't care hoo (or what), as long as I get to rescue. Lets rescue the L-$$ty first then Belle Epoque and your little chip off the owl block.

Owl: We have a change of plan!

Next Time: Owl pulls off a heist and gets away to save the day!

See you next time!

Pamela is an Auckland writer and consultant with a Masters in Conflict and Terrorism Studies from the University of Auckland. She is a former lawyer, psychotherapist and executive coach.

She loves owls, ballet, black cats, hot air balloons, witches and wizards, Shakespeare, metaphors, memes, magical realism, reading, walking around lakes, carnivals, carousels, circuses, bals masque, Fiat cars, surrealism, Mozart, opera, dragons, cheongsams, sky rockets, turkish delight, Supreme Court Justice spider brooches, mosaics, museums, riding on her broomstick and travelling in her imagination.

Photo: Pamela selfie