"The Classified Adventures of Owl"-Season 6, (2) in which Owl enlists the help of Specky Owl, a Parrot and a Penguin to sell an Island to Boris Owl

Boris and his Cabal of the Northern Branch of the Worldwide Wood (www.) as we know are in cahooty for Loo-ty with Horny Owl and P-Hooty and his Band.............Read on....

Owl: Hola! Saludos a todos. I'm twittering from Panama after collecting my Loo-ty from a Shady Bank in the Jungle and am taking off to see my shady ole buddy Specky the Spectacular.

Specky's a bit of a night owl and a loner but I'm going to try to get him to a nightclub so he can hook up his claws and dangle. He's into masks like me so its a no bird-brainer. I need his help to lure the Giant Parrot out of hiding and be my agent to take Boris Owl down before he captures the Wood from The Marschallin. We're going to don our masks and make Boris an offer he can't refuse.

Morepork Owl (boobook)

Hola, Specs, my ole buddy!

Wikipedia: The Spectacled Owl

Specky: Owl! What gives, ole buddy, me ole Master of Maskirovna?

Owl: Ah, those were the days, my friend. Once upon a time there was a tavern where we used to raise a glass or two. Remember how we laughed away the hours and think of all the great things we would do. Those were the days my friend. We thought they'd never end. We'd sing and dance forever and a day. We'd live the life we choose. We'd fight and never lose.For we were young and sure to have our way. La la la la la la, La la la la la la, La la la la La la la la la la.

Specky: You really know how to pull the heart-strings, Owl me ole bud. You, me and Mary! Those were the days. Wassup?

Owl: I'm on a mission. Brown Owl doesn't want to know what I'm up to so I haven't told her. I've gone full noc noc hoo's there? The answer is Snowy Boris Owl. We need to scam him and I have a plan. Don your mask, Specky.

Specky: AWOL Owl! What's the plan?

Image:Snowy Owl (Wikipedia)

Owl: Boris the Boofhead and his Cabal are going up against The Marschallin and her Handmaidens, The Owlettes. He wants to take over the Worldwide Wood (www.) and they're plotting mayhem. Well, ahem, as a double I'm plotting mayhem for them as their Director of Mayhem. The Owlettes are planning to set a honey-trapski for Boris the Boorish, tie him down and laugh while the ants tickle him.

I have a more sinister plan. We're going to sell Boris an island. I have one in mind - the Bahamas is a bit hot but Shell Island in Panama (really a peninsula) looks a great fit. We're going to start a shell company to dredge the channel, occupy the new island and sell Boris fake shares.

Queen Conch Shell (Trinidad & Tobago 2009)

Specky: Wow, Gee, Golly, Super! You are a Whizz Kid, Owl.

Owl: (modestly) Nothing to it, Specky, when you have a bird brain as large as mine! We will also need the help of the Giant Parrot (Heracles inexpectatus) who is a colleague of me ole mate Nestor the Kea (nestor notabilis) who's been in a bit of danger lately, is resting and nibbling on old tyres to keep him happy.

Cut to the Giant Parrot Herakles who is up a tree down the end of a branch sawing it off .

Image: Kea (nestor notabilis)

Owl: How are you, me ole fossil?

Herakles: Never better, Owl!I haven't seen you since the Mycenae, I mean Miocene. I wasn't expecting you for ages. Aaaargh! (wing flurry and huge whoosh as falls with branch).

Parrot Museum Joseph Cornell, Fortune Telling Parrot (Parrot Music Box), ca 1937/38, box construction, 40.8x22.2x17 cm, The Solomon R. Guggenheim Foundation,Peggy Guggenheim Collection, Venice.

Image: Pixabay

Herakles: (perching on the ground and towering over Owl): Great Tibiotarsus! that was a near miss! What can I sit on for you, Owl?

Owl: You know me from way back, Herakles. I've always got a new plot on the go. Fancy a trip to an island?

Herakles: a Greek one? When do we leave? I'll bring me mate Penguino the Pirate. He's about twice our size and quite strong.

Image: Pixabay Penguin Pirate

Owl: Sorry no, not Greek, my big ole Fluffy Drawers. We're off to slay a Hydra. He will be leaving his comfy perch up north as Head of School. We're going to lure Boris the Brave to Shell Island and sell it to him. I'm his Chief Strategist of Lies, Lunatics and Loony Tricks so it shouldn't be too hard.

Image: Hydra (Wikipedia)

And what's more the Owlettes are going to lure him into a honey- trapski for some pink pearls and he will have to give me more L$$-ty to get out. You're going to help capture these Bullshitter Cretins.

Image: Luis Garcia Hercules capturing the Cretan Bull. Detail of The Twelve Labours Roman mosaic from Llíria (Valencia, Spain).

Herakles: Owl, what a little plotter and profiteer you are.

The Loo-ty

1915-S $50 Panama-Pacific 50 Dollar Octagonal (rev) (1216-4458)

Heritage Auctions (image); U.S. Mint (coin) - Heritage Auctions Lot 4458, 7 January 2015

See you next time!

Pamela is an Auckland writer and consultant with a Masters in Conflict and Terrorism Studies from the University of Auckland. She is a former lawyer, psychotherapist and executive coach.

She loves owls, ballet, black cats, hot air balloons, witches and wizards, Shakespeare, metaphors, memes, magical realism, reading, walking around lakes, carnivals, carousels, circuses, bals masque, Fiat cars, surrealism, Mozart, opera, dragons, cheongsams, sky rockets, turkish delight, riding on her broomstick and travelling in her imagination.