Class Of 2020 — The Rejected Commencement Speech of Mine

BACKGROUND: Recently, I have been invited by a university to deliver one of the virtual pre-recorded commencement speeches for ‘Class Of 2020’. And, I f****d up, Royally!

Here is the transcript!

Hey Hi to all. First of all, let me extend my gratitude to the fraternity of ABC University for having me and allowing me to deliver a small speech on the date of your graduation. It's a big day for all of you, so, and without further ado, I would like to offer my version of 10 commandments, to this 'CLASS OF 2020'.

10 COMMANDMENTS (ADVICES) FOR CLASS OF 2020 (REJECTED VERSION)

1. Never take things for granted. Value people, time, and money - EQUALLY!
2. For god sake, be financially smart. Keep a balance between how to save and on what to spend. Over demanding love partners (or better halves), and Coronaviruses can screw you any moment without giving you advance notice.
3. Don't buy fancy things to prove your achievements to others. Believe me, if that's your way of being smart, then it will sooner or later bite your ass. 
4. Kindly stay DEBT-free or be on a minimum level of DEBT. Or else someone or somebody will keep on taking advantage of you. 
5. If you are negotiating for a job, then talk like a business person and act like a business person.
6. If you are working for someone else's dream, then your optimum shelf-life is till you reach the age of 40. Beyond that, you are f******g redundant. Always have your Plan B ready.
7. Be humble, be polite. Always reciprocate goodness with love. But, never take someone's nonsense for free. Repackage their shit and hand it back to them. Time and place you can decide.
8. Learn how to sell a "fear". If you can't sell that, then better start selling icecreams. 
9. Never patronize, never get patronized. Grow real balls to speak the truth and the truth only. 
10. The last but not the least, nobody should control your destiny. Your destiny, your control. If anything goes wrong down the line, then you know whom to blame - YOU, YOURSELF!. Be accountable and responsible for your actions. 

Those who have rich dads, sugary daddies, or I-lick-your-ass-you-lick-mine, then chuck these advices. People who are born in these categories are gold-diggers and freeloaders. And, you guys are going to meet such characters now and then. Kindly do note, they will exist until their luck or beauty last. [;-), the wink] 

However, if you follow any of the 10 advices mentioned by me (above), then I can't guarantee that you guys gonna have a smooth career. Follow these advices at your own risk. Go Screw or Get Screwed — where the word "SCREW" is the only common denominator. [the grin]

Once again, congratulations to all. The time is yours. So, just go and have the ball. 

Thank You!