Clarity Gives Choices - Step Parenting with Honesty, Courage, and Humility: A New Perspective on Co-Parenting and Leadership
Joan Thomas
A Creative Doulah coaching people-pleasing step mums to own their purpose, live their vision, heal their hearts, and transform their money story because it's time to thrive unapologetically with your internal makeover.
Parenting is a Leadership Role
Parenting is not just about raising children; it’s about leading them. As step-parents we are guardians and we have the responsibility to guide, nurture, and support our children, much like leaders guide their teams. But effective leadership in parenting requires honesty, courage, and humility. It means being honest about our own limitations, having the courage to face challenges, and being humble enough to admit when we’re wrong.
Leadership can be enhanced and recognised when you know your purpose in the child's life. With Pillar One of Draw in Your Bliss you get to know how you can become a better step parent just by investing in understanding your hidden patterns and how these can change for the better, so you genuinely live your life as well as fit genuinely into your role as step parent. No more Cinderella type step mums.
Changing Perspectives: The Power of Perspective in Parenting
Just like in drawing, where a single-point perspective creates a straightforward view and a two-point perspective adds depth, the perspective we bring to parenting shapes our experience. By changing our perspective, we can create a different outlook on step parenting, seeing it not as a task or something we do to look good to our spouse but as a journey of growth for both parent and child. Shifting from control to guidance, from ownership to partnership, opens up a world of possibilities.
Co-Parenting: What It Is and What It Is Not
Co-parenting is about collaboration, not control. It’s about two people working together to raise a child, despite personal differences. It’s not about imposing your will on the other parent or the child. Clarity in co-parenting is essential—understanding each other's roles and responsibilities creates clear choices and avoids conflict. Co-parenting is about putting the child’s needs first, and having clear communication and respect.
One way I support my husband work things out with the biological mother of my step child is literally coach him through his thinking and how he wants to say what he feels he must say versus saying what you mean without being mean. Tough love, but it works when the child is the focus.
Facing Narcissism in Co-Parenting
Dealing with a narcissistic co-parent can be challenging. Narcissists often prioritise their own needs and feelings over those of the child, making effective co-parenting difficult. To navigate this, it's crucial to maintain a clear perspective and focus on what is best for the child. You may not be able to change the narcissistic behaviour, but you can choose how you respond to it. Seek clarity and set firm boundaries to protect yourself and your child from manipulative tactics. Remember, you’re not alone—getting a coach can provide support and strategies for managing these dynamics.
The Internal Work: Parenting Starts with You
To be the best parent you can be, you must do the internal work. This means reflecting on your own beliefs, behaviors, and emotional responses. Ask yourself: What ways am I contributing to the upset? By understanding your own triggers and reactions, you can create a healthier environment for your children. This internal work shifts the focus from blame to self-awareness and growth.
Collaborating with me you get to use the Draw in Your Bliss framework - Pillar Three - Relationship and your perceptions; you get to take a look, with support of course into your relationship with self. There are so many better ways of relating to yourself that can be used with the step child.
Outdated Parenting Methods: A Call for Change
Traditional parenting methods, such as controlling behavior, leading with fear, and expecting children to be seen and not heard, are outdated. These methods reflect a lack of internal work and a misunderstanding of the parent-child relationship. Parenting with the mindset of “my way or the highway” fails to acknowledge the individuality and autonomy of children. This still calls for healthy boundaries.
THis would be tackled through Pillar Four - looking at your light, shadow and dark sides and how these can be worked with and through to embrace aspects of yourself you didn't even know existed or were too afraid to embrace.
Children Need Their Own Experiences
Children are not our possessions; we don’t own them. They are individuals with their own paths to walk. Our role as parents is to love and accept them as they are, not to mould them into who we want them to be. Children need to have their own experiences, even if we don’t always agree with their choices. By allowing them to explore, make mistakes, and learn, we empower them to grow into confident, self-aware individuals.
According to A Course in Miracles we chose our parents, going with this concept, our parents are the vessels that bring us here, so there are going to be moments of stress and learning from this for the child. children are to be cared for they are dependents until 19 and they expect some guidance and leeway to just mess up.
领英推荐
Perspective in Action: A New Way Forward
Changing our perspective on parenting—from one of control to one of leadership—can transform our relationships with our children. It takes honesty, courage, and humility to look at ourselves and make changes. But by doing so, we not only improve our own lives but also set a positive example for our children.
Embrace coaching so being a Stepmum becomes something you grow into with grace and self honour. Guide them, support them, and let them know you are there for them. This is not just about parenting; it’s about creating a future where love, respect, and understanding are at the forefront of our relationships.
Journal Prompts:
If you care to write (alternatively mull over):
The choice is yours.
Go on... Embrace You. Play More!
Jo x
#ParentingWithPurpose #CoParenting #ParentingTips #LeadWithLove #HonestParenting #CourageousParenting #ParentingAdvice #PositiveParenting #ParentingJourney #PerspectiveShift #InternalWork #MindfulParenting #ParentingLeadership #ChildrenFirst #ParentingSupport #NarcissismAwareness #ParentingChallenges #ConsciousParenting #LoveAndAcceptance #GrowthMindset #CreativeParenting #HealingYourStory #LifeVision #StepMumSupport #EmpoweredParenting #ParentingTransformation #PersonalGrowth #ParentingCommunity
Hi, I’m Jo, your Creative Doula—Artist, Educator, and Coach. I help stepmoms find their purpose, live their life vision creatively, and heal their money story.
Like this post? Feel free to embrace my DMs to chat about finding your purpose, living your vision, and healing your money story.
P.S
Art classes start September! Self expression is a must!
D.M Art for further details. I shall be dropping those details soon.