Claim it, own it and make the change you want in this world!

2022 - Time to claim what matters, do what feels good and express your ME (magnificent expression)

I am claiming that these words need to be removed from our vocabulary:

• NORMAL
• WORK
• DOING

Normal

"The origins of normal in the English language came into use in 16th century, as a description of a "right angle". And only in the 20th century did it become used to describe 'conforming to a type, standard, or regular pattern.'" Who decided what the standards for normal were and are? Let me guess, some old white guy.

The use of normal is everywhere. in school, on tv, in medical terms and even in software. As I write this article, these words are being typed in "Normal" paragraph standard.

We can't get away from it. Normal this and normal that. It is used everywhere without any regard of impact that normal has on all of us, especially young children.

By stating something is normal it means that all other things are NOT NORMAL aka - less than. There is no normal, just 7.9 billion versions of your own unique ME-ness. How does it feel to be told "act more normal, dress more normal, behave normal?" It feels like crap. How could it feel if you were told to "Be Me"? It would feel great. No acting, no pretending, no being something you are not!

So how do you remove something that is so embedded in your daily thoughts?

• Pause and reflect before you speak.
• Watch for patterns and biases of what is normal.
• Start conversations about your personal learnings about normal.
• And at the same time, be intentional about celebrating the uniqueness (non-normalness) of others.

Work

Work is a four letter dirty word. I am going to work, I am doing work, show me your work, house work, school work, etc. What value do you offer if you are not working? Plus, the origins of the word "work" are connected to torture.

We live in a keep busy world and work is one of our common currencies of value. We say "oh poor Suzy, she is working late. She must be important." Did you work today? And if the answer is no, a smug look and raised eyebrow comes over the asker with a judging tone.

I am working a full time job and running a house and building a business. And after dinner, as I head up the stairs to do businessy stuff I pause, put a finger to my nose and up the chimney... Oops, wrong story.

As I head to my office to invest in my business I pause and say I'm heading up to build my website, impact some lives, create something cool. It is more outcome based than busy "working" based.

I do this for a few reasons:

1. I look forward to these activities, they are a treat and an investment rather than a burden. It becomes a dopamine hit.
2. To model the language and behavior I want from my family.
3. Makes me feel like a bad-ass as I am driving results and making a difference.

So, how can you remove work from your vocabulary?

• Pause and reflect before you use work.
• What alternatives can you use to describe the output vs the doing?
• When communicating with others, celebrate the results.

Doing

What could be wrong with doing? Seems innocent enough. There are no connections to torture in the history books.

My beef with doing is connected to work, as doing is also a currency for success in our culture. Those that are doing a lot, those who are busy are valued more.

We ask "Whatcha doing?" and want to know what people have been up to. It is such a surface question. What have you been filling your days with?

What happens if that answer is "nothing." Well, most often the response is a blank stare or that same raise eyebrow judgement look. What would happen if you asked "How are you feeling" "What are you thinking" "How are you putting youself first"?

I just returned from travelling for WORK and spent the weekend DOING all the things I didn't do while I was away. Not one single thing needed to be completed, but in my subconscious mind I needed to add value by doing, rather than what my body really needed was to rest and just be.

So what would have my weekend looked like if I focused on being instead of doing? Sleep in, exercise, naps, meditation, catch up with family, reading and lots of choosing me. Which weekend would you want?

So, I doubt we will remove this one completely from the English language, yet we can be intentional about when we use it. Also, we can aim to BE more than DO.

So, how can you be more conscious about the word doing?

• Pause and reflect before you value the doing.
• Spend 5 min a day being - nothing needs to be produced, just listen to your breath
• Ask those questions about about being and feeling to change the conversation.

Words Matter

"Dehumanization is the most significant driver of insurrection and it always starts with language. We are all responsible for recognizing it, stopping it, and holding people accountable for dehumanizing language and actions"  Brene Brown        

Consider your words wisely and be aware of your impact when you communicate. Challenge others' biases and make this world a place you are proud to live in.

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