Civility in the Time of Covid-19

On April 2, 2020, Chief Judge Bertila Soto, 11th Judicial Circuit, Miami-Dade County, Florida issued an administrative order on timesharing and how to handle it in these ever-changing times. The message consistent throughout is one of civility. Of accommodating. Of respecting the roles of coparenting. Of putting the children first. Of being a responsible community member.

It is a message that we all need to heed. Judge Soto's order states, in part, that "video-conferencing and phone contact ... should be increased...to alleviate fears and concerns the child(ren) may be experiencing during this time." Her message is clear: children are the priority, and they need contact with both parents, especially during this time. Judge Soto cautions "that unreasonable, hurtful, or destructive behavior" is potentially sanctionable. People should start from a place of kindness during these times, and recognize that each of us is going through a tremendously challenging time.

In the event of a "shelter in place" order like that which Governor DeSantis issued effective Friday, April 3, 2020 at 12:01 a.m., the 11th Judicial Circuit's order stops the exchanges of children for timesharing, so that fewer people will be traveling and unnecessarily creating opportunity for exposure to the coronavirus. Rest assured, Judge Soto's Order 20-06 provides for make-up timesharing for the parent who is without the children during the period of stopped exchange. Again, it is all about doing what is right. Right for the community, the parents, and the children.

Children deserve to be free from witnessing toxic discord between parents. Witnessing toxic parental discord challenges the child's loyalties, confuses them, and creates insecurity that will follow them throughout their lives. When a child sees her parents working cooperatively -- as is especially necessary in our current world -- she feels peace and she knows that her parents are working together to protect her. If parents need assistance in coparenting through this time, there are so many wonderful therapists offering telehealth, no-contact, sessions; the support to parent at your best is there. Reach out.

Expectations of civility also extend to the lawyers practicing in the era of Covid-19. U.S. Magistrate Judge Jonathan Goodman issued an order on March 25th, chastising counsel for unreasonably objecting to a requested continuance. In the words of Judge Goodman: “If ...counsel opposed the motion, then he is best advised to provide a comprehensive and rational explanation....(b)efore filing this response, though,...counsel may want to brush up on the concepts [of] karma, goodwill, grace, compassion, equity, charity, flexibility, respect, spirituality, selflessness, kindness, public spirit, social conscience and empathy.”

These are unprecedented times. The overarching message should be to rise above, to act out of love and grace -- love for your child over the resentment of your co-parent, grace to accept that things are not going to go the way we plan. To treat one another with respect and compassion and understanding. Let's all commit to that, shall we? I will!

Stay home, and stay safe.