Circle of Control vs. Circle of Concern

For many years, I proudly self-described as a “control-freak”. I liked certainty, predictability. Had a strong vision for the way things “should” be. (I now know that "should" is a dangerous word, there’s probably an entirely separate article).

?Those exacting expectations felt like part of my superpower; paired with a strong work ethic, I was willing to do whatever it took to deliver and deliver at a high bar. The higher the stakes, the tighter I held on, convinced I could push through, climb over, break through any obstacle. With enough ingenuity, effort and persistence, anything was possible. I worked hard to control the variables (or as we say at Amazon, the inputs). I didn’t just sweat the small stuff, I sweated all stuff. Believing that if I controlled the inputs, I could control the outcome.

?Of course, I’d heard the truism, “Control is an illusion”. But I chased it anyway, relentlessly. My first year at Amazon I stressed myself right into an overnight stay in the hospital – burnt out, stressed out, brittle with exhaustion. What I needed was a new mental model. Or rather, to actually start practicing one I was taught during Conscious Leadership training: the difference between control and concern.

?It’s a simple model, really. For any given situation – and I do mean, ANY – there are factors you can impact and those you can’t.?

?Our circle of concern is quite large; there are many things we care about. From the momentous to the mundane: the economy, job security, a critical project, a friend’s bad relationship, our children’s grades, what will I make for dinner tonight. It’s a big circle with lots of stuff in it; invariably, it consumes a lot of our attention and emotional energy.

?Ah, but the much smaller circle is actually the important one: it’s the list of things we can actually control.

?Ease, freedom and peace come from understanding (and embracing) the difference. Project Beagle, our ambitious, multi-year effort to launch Alexa into space aboard Artemis I, is easily one of the most exciting and interesting projects of my career. And it’s been a consistent proving ground for this distinction between circle of control vs. circle of concern.

?On August 29, we hosted clients, partners, press, project team members and a production crew to capture the epic launch at Kennedy Space Center.?After a 4am, 4-hour bus ride, the launch was called off just as we pulled in to the venue. The team was dejected, fried and frazzled. The work was hard enough the first time, but the constant rework – as launch windows adjusted – was draining. I found myself explaining the mantra again and again, “circle of influence, circle of concern”. “Let’s get clear on our controllable inputs.” Turns out, getting an 5 million pound rocket off the ground isn’t one of them.

?A week later, we spun up again, with a scaled back presence and leaner team – and unfortunately, the same result. The team was full of concerns: fiscal (multiple attempts were eating through our budget), logistical (each attempt required us to rework the entire mission schedule), mental (constant rework was exhausting), emotional (time away from family was draining) … I found myself repeating “what’s in our circle of control” – often with hand gestures. Our best path forward was to focus on the elements we could impact – and let the rest go. ?Turns out, working with liquid hydrogen (which must be stored at -423 degrees Fahrenheit) is really (really) hard. Also, not in our circle of control.

Today, September 27, Artemis was slated for another potential launch attempt. #HurricaneIan had other plans – Mother Nature is definitely not in our Circle of Control.

This article from The Management Center explains the model, gives a theoretical example; they view this mindset as a way to build resilience in teams. It’s definitely a practical way to reduce stress and anxiety and to tackle those feelings of overwhelm that creep up on all of us.

What are you letting go of right now??

PS: If you want to follow along with this historic mission to put Alexa into space, say "Alexa, take me to the moon!"