The circle of compassion
Many of the arguments and disagreements with other people arise from differing boundaries in our circles of compassion.?
What is the circle of compassion? It is the group of people and other living organisms that we care about and have feelings toward. We don’t mind killing the bacteria in our mouth by brushing our teeth or placing mousetraps around our houses, but we do care about the people and pets in our household.?
Each of us has a unique set of boundaries that has evolved from our upbringing, cultural history, and life experiences. In the future, we might include some artificial lifeforms in our circle of compassion as well.
Cultures have a significant effect on these boundaries. If you grew up in a rural Chinese city, where you ate dogs as a kid, you would likely have less compassion for dogs than a person who grew up with a pet dog as a beloved family member. We Finns think reindeer meat is a delicious treat. At the same time, American children think it is unacceptable that we kill and eat Rudolph, the helper of Santa.
When the boundaries concern people, things get even more complicated. The inability to feel compassion towards people of different races comes out as racism. Some religious people might have a high level of compassion for their brothers and sisters in faith but avoid making close friends with people of other religions.
The complexity of our cultural landscape leads to a lot of confusion and hypocrisy regarding the boundaries of compassion.?
Conservatives in the American south often reject vaccines because of their “god-given right to bodily autonomy.” At the same time, they reject women’s right to their bodily autonomy by drafting laws that ban abortions in their home states. The unborn fetuses are in their circle of compassion, but the women carrying them are not.?
“Woke” people ask for conservatives to have more compassion towards sexual minorities and other progressive causes but cannot tolerate differing opinions themselves. An example of this is the recent social media campaign to cancel a conservative Christian politician from a Finnish TV show because she represents a worldview they disagree with.
The love we have for each other is not unconditional, even if we wanted it to be. Your beloved husband or wife might become a hated ex in the future. You may lose your religion or even country because of a significant event like an extremist group or a dictator taking over.
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Have you analyzed how your circle of compassion has evolved? What events have caused you to expand or narrow it? How would your life outlook change if you got cancer or lost a loved one??
I was severely bullied throughout my school years, including in the university. For years, I responded to this with the wishes that my bullies get what they deserve. After two of them had committed suicide and I was doing well, I finally found the strength to forgive every one of my bullies.?
It was a big relief and helped me become more compassionate.
Does your bitterness about experienced injustice hinder your ability to communicate about it compassionately? Who do you think will relate with your messaging, your peer group, or the targeted audience on the other side?
Pondering this is helpful because it exposes the gaps in our ability to feel compassion when it’s due.
The Luminist @ Luminous Views Gallery
3 年Fear is a problem used to control. Empathy is a solution that requires giving up control. Are you a control freak looking for your hard code in Technocracy? Or are you one who can participate in the blockchain of Immutable Transparency?
Its got such beautiful thoughts in there! Thank you for sharing Mikko Alasaarela Appreciating the differences in our geographic cultures and being tolerant are certainly important virtues. However, in light of climate change, a threat we are facing as a collective, as a species, it has become important to expand our circle of compassion to include not only people from other parts of the world but also the other 8.7 mn species. A first-principles approach (borrowing from you know who) to compassion might help us achieve it at a global scale. So, for example, my reason for saying no to meat is simple - I wouldn't like my kid to be eaten, therefore, I shouldn't eat someone else's kid - someone implying not just humans but other species too. Similarly, my reason for not owning a car is simple - if i wouldn't like someone else to pollute my environment, I shouldn't pollute other's environment. When we see ourselves as essentially soul and not as body, our differences in appearance stop mattering. It becomes easy to see everyone and everything as a soul, a part of the same supersoul - oneness. Also, by deprioritising the body over the soul, it becomes easier to choose minimalism over tendencies to acquire and possess and own.
Hieno kirjoitus ?? Meid?n kaikkien tulisi kyseenalaistaa ajattelumme ja my?t?tunnomme rajoja. Maailmassa on paljon tilaa v?litt?miselle ja toisten ymm?rt?miselle. Anteeksianto on kyll? vaikea laji. Mutta sit? helpottaa kun huomaa ett? yleens? ne, jotka kaipaavat anteeksiantoa, ovat niit? joiden el?m?ss? asiat huonommin kuin meill? itsell?mme.