Church of St. Maximus

I don’t wonder if God is a woman, I wonder if He exists. Is there a place, in particular, I can find him? If I traveled all across the world; would I find Him at the shores of the sea or would I find Him lying under a tree or hidden from mankind in caves?

Have you ever seen God; has anyone? I’ve heard about monks and their life’s dedication to Him. I’ve heard of their need to disconnect themselves from the world; to isolate themselves from the chaff; standing against the grain.

So, maybe they have seen Him. Maybe, choosing to reside at the most isolated religious site in the world has brought them closer to the sight of His face.

What does He look like I wonder? Does His face turn a bright-white like burnt magnesium when He’s pleased? Does it turn red, like the blood we shed when He’s mad?

If I was to visit the Church of St. Maximus, would I see Him? If I was to climb the Katskhi pillar (130 Ft) into the air on a steel ladder would I feel His presence fill up the vacuum in my soul?

Would I feel a sudden wave of peace that I so seek? Would I see a burning bush at the entrance of the Church, as a means of communicating with Him?

But, only the monks are allowed to be there. So maybe, if I were a boy, they would let me visit the Church. If I drank whiskey and start tasting like men, maybe the monks would let me see Him.

Maybe if I was as beautiful as Esther or as Job’s three daughters, they’d allow me in. Maybe if I was as aggressive as Delilah they’d have no other choice but to let me in. But I’m just a girl seeking His face.