The church and a fourteen-year-old boy

I recently read the very confronting memoir written by Shannon Molloy, Fourteen. In that memoir Shannon shares his horrific story of being bullied at school because he was gay.

The book makes for a sobering read. Shannon was let down on so many levels. Not only was he bullied by the students, but he was dismally let down by the teachers who were complicit with the taunts, the School Counsellor who told him that the bullying was his fault because he ‘acted gay’, and the principal who did little to ensure he was safe.

What made the story even more confronting for me, a Christian, was that the school Shannon attended was a faith-based school.

It is little wonder why Shannon is now suspicious of every religious institution. Who could blame him, and countless other people who, because of the deep hurt they have suffered, have turned their backs on organised religion?

Shannon’s story was not too dissimilar to the horrific stories that have been shared with me by some of the past students from the school I lead. Stories of students who were relentlessly bullied, who then visited a monster masquerading as a school counsellor where they were sexually abused time and time again.

All those stories have left me feeling ashamed to say that I belong to a church.

How is it that the church has got it so wrong and failed the very people Jesus loves? How is it that the church as an institution still gets it so wrong?

I am reminded of Jesus’ words recorded in Luke 4:18, "The Spirit of the Lord is on Me, because He has anointed Me to preach good news to the poor. He has sent me to proclaim liberty to the captives and recovery of sight to the blind, to release the oppressed."

And later in Luke 5:32 when the Pharisees questioned Jesus as to why he was dining with tax collectors, “It is not the healthy who need a doctor, but the sick. I have not come to call the righteous, but sinners to repentance."

I would be so bold as to suggest that we, the church (that is God’s people which includes me) have been so fixated on the words ‘righteous’ and ‘sinners’ that we failed completely to understand what Jesus really meant when he preached the good news to release the oppressed.

As a church we have falsely considered ourselves as ‘righteous’ and in so doing, cast judgement on the ‘sinners’. We are so fixated on sin and judgement that we fail to recognise the heart of Jesus’ message. In fact, I think we even misunderstand what Jesus meant by the term ‘sin’.

Jesus came to show mercy. He came to heal the sick. He came to demonstrate unconditional love. He came to give life. And if we heard what Jesus was saying when he responded to the Pharisees’ condemnation when He ate with the tax collectors, we would realise that He was calling the ‘righteous’ hypocrites.

The church has failed so many because it is filled with self-righteous who believe themselves to have the right to cast judgement. And if we think, “that isn’t me, I am so not righteous”, then we aren’t being honest with ourselves because we all have the tendency to cast judgement on people who are different to ourselves. We think that "I and the people like me—who believe the same and act the same—are superior." Therefore, by definition, those different from us are inferior. We’re particularly quick to judge things we don’t understand, things like same-sex attraction and gender ambiguity.

I am deeply ashamed that the Christian religion has caused so much hurt to so many people. I am deeply saddened knowing that the Anglican church, the organisation I work for, will probably tear itself apart over the issue of same-sex marriage.

I admit the issues which it will debate in the coming years in relation to the blessing of same-sex marriage are not easy ones; there is no simple solution. But I do know that the issue will be divisive, and the debate will cause even more pain to the very people Jesus came to demonstrate His love to.

I don’t know how to reconcile the tension and navigate through the theology. But one thing I am certain of is that Jesus didn’t command us to judge. He commanded us to love the Lord our God with all our heart, all our mind and all our soul, and to love our neighbour as ourselves. The question I need to ask myself each day is, “how can I show God’s love to all I meet today?”

I encourage all teachers, educators and church leaders to read Shannon’s book, and another like it, “No Middle Name” by Tilly Brasch. In understanding, in refraining from judgement, in offering love you may even save a life.