Church Discipline in an Age of Empathy

In our work to heal churches in pain, we often enter congregations that have suffered from a lack of applying church discipline. As a result, these ministries flounder amidst reoccurring crises that church leaders cannot bring themselves to address for one reason or another. I want to explore one of those reasons, an overdeveloped sense of empathy. What are the roots of over-empathy? I suggest three influences that can cause church leaders to hesitate to exercise compassionate correction.

?????? “Love the Sinner – Hate the Sin” is implausible. I understand that this popular maxim appropriately tempers our response to those who make sinful choices. Godly compassion should always accompany godly correction. However, this extra-biblical adage subtly bifurcates sin from the perpetrator of sin. Sin is an expression of the human will. If humans did not act sinfully, there would be no sin. The notion that one can love the sinner while hating their sin disassociates human responsibility from human tendencies. And by diminishing one's responsibility for their sin, it dissipates the importance of godly correction.

?When Moses instructed Israel to “purge the evil from your midst” (Deut. 22:21-24), the perpetrators were never divorced from their evil acts. They bore responsibility for their sin and were not simply its victim. We see the same correlation between sin and sinner in the New Testament. Judas paid a price for his betrayal. Peter suffered for his denial. Ananias and Sapphira's conspiracy cost their lives. Taking responsibility for one's sin is the foundation for and (hopefully) the result of healthy church discipline.

???????? Cowardice Sometimes Masquerades as Empathy. Fear likes to hide in the dark corners of our hearts. It motivates us to self-protect when we feel threatened. Fear is happy to put on a mask of empathy to avoid a painful confrontation with an erring saint. Fear challenges our allegiance to Christ when we feel threatened by what He calls us to do. However, empathy can provide an acceptable substitute (in our minds) for our lack of courage.

?The late preacher, Vance Havner, said, "Sometimes we become sentimental about offending one person and so sorry for him that we risk the health of the whole church." The priests in the temple found the courage to confront King Uzziah when he tried to usurp the priesthood (2 Chron. 26:18). They did not fear for their lives or bow to his outrageous sin. If these priests feared not to confront a king (who held their lives in his hands) shall we fear facing sinful behavior in the Church that Jesus finds intolerable? ?

???????? Empathy without Discernment is Dangerous. An overdose of empathy sometimes indicates a deprivation of discernment. I don’t mean failing to discern the Bible’s teaching on church discipline. I mean a failure to recognize that not correcting an erring brother or sister can sometimes flow from their desire not to be corrected.

?I have seen church leaders who readily confess their sins. They seem eager to share their faults and missteps, generating pity from the congregation. When a sympathetic congregation’s heart melts at their “transparency,” the offender and congregation no longer must deal with their sin. This maneuver amounts to a spiritual sleight of hand, and we often fall for it.

When we exercise empathy without sufficient discernment, the offender receives no help, and the congregation receives no protection. Let me ask you, are you such a nature lover that you would cuddle a rattlesnake? Would you make a snapping turtle your pet? Just because an alligator appears to be smiling does not mean it wants you for a friend. Not every erring Christian is a reptile in disguise, but some are, and they feed on our lack of discernment and overdeveloped sense of empathy.

?In North American culture, empathy is the queen of virtues. The result? We accept all kinds of sinful behaviors as normative. If we had the chance, we’d probably show pity to the Devil to demonstrate how empathetic we can be. Let's not let the culture's overly empathetic leanings invade the Church lest we discover that Jesus is less than sympathetic about our doing so.

?Mark Barnard serves with Blessing Point Ministries which works to heal churches with painful histories. If your ministry is in pain, consider reading Healing the Heart of Your Church by Dr. Kenneth Quick (amazon) or contact us at [email protected].