The Chronicles of an Overthinker: When Every Thought is a Conspiracy

Meet Ariyana!

Ariyana is a good girl. Honest, hardworking, and generally pleasant—until her brain decides to throw a full-fledged drama festival over the smallest things. If her maid doesn’t show up, she doesn’t assume she overslept or got stuck in traffic. No, no. In Ariyana's mind, she secretly hates her and has been planning her exit for weeks!

When her friend doesn’t reply to a WhatsApp message within 15 minutes? Ariyana isn’t thinking, Maybe she’s busy. No, she is convinced this friend is mad at her for something she said three years ago. Maybe it was that time she took the last piece of pizza without asking. Or when she accidentally liked an old Instagram post from 2017, triggering an existential crisis for the friend. Either way, Ariyana is now pacing the room, preparing a heartfelt apology for an unknown crime.

The Science of Overthinking (Also Known as “Thinking, But Make It a Soap Opera”)

Overthinkers, like our dear Ariyana, have a gift. They can take the simplest situation and turn it into a full-blown psychological thriller. Their mind is a 24/7 detective agency, constantly investigating “Why did she say ‘okay’ instead of ‘okay!’?” and “Did that guy at work mean something when he said ‘see you later’?”

To an overthinker, nothing is just what it seems. Every text, every look, every delayed response is a coded message that must be decoded before bedtime. Otherwise, sleep? Forget about it.

How to Spot an Overthinker in the Wild...

Overthinkers often display certain behaviors:

• The “Are You Mad at Me?” Syndrome – They frequently check in to confirm they haven’t unintentionally offended you.
• The “10 Scenarios, None of Them Logical” Reflex – They craft elaborate theories for simple events, like why the grocery store cashier didn’t smile at them.
• The “What If?” Marathon – Every decision, from choosing a restaurant to replying to a text, goes through a thorough risk assessment.

How to Handle an Overthinker Without Losing Your Sanity

1. Reassure, But Don’t Feed the Drama: If Ariyana is spiraling about why her boss said “good morning” differently today, don’t engage with “Yes, maybe he’s planning to fire you.” Instead, say, “Maybe he just needed coffee.” Overthinkers need reality checks, not fuel for their overactive imaginations.
2. Keep Answers Short and Direct: Overthinkers analyze everything. If you say, “We need to talk,” they will write their own eulogy. Instead, say, “Let’s meet at 6 to discuss the weekend plans.” Clarity prevents unnecessary mental gymnastics.
3. Teach Them the Art of Letting Go: Overthinkers struggle with the concept that sometimes, things just happen. Encourage them to adopt the revolutionary philosophy of “Not Everything Is About You.” A friend didn’t reply? Maybe they’re just busy. The maid didn’t come? Maybe she had a personal emergency. It’s not a plot twist—it’s life.
4. Use Humor to Snap Them Out of It: Next time Ariyana goes into overdrive about why someone used a period instead of an exclamation mark, respond with, “It’s a punctuation mark, not a declaration of war.” Sometimes, laughter is the best way to shut down an overthinking spiral.
5. Introduce the ‘What’s the Worst That Can Happen?’ Method: If Ariyana is panicking about a possible misunderstanding, ask her, “What’s the absolute worst thing that could happen?” Nine times out of ten, the answer is something ridiculous like “My friend will hate me forever and I will have to move to another country and change my name.” When said out loud, it sounds absurd—because it is absurd.

Final Thoughts

Overthinkers aren’t bad people; they just have very active brains that refuse to take a break. If you have an Ahmed in your life, be patient but firm. And if you are Ahmed—take a deep breath, drink some tea, and remind yourself that not every unanswered text is a sign of betrayal. Sometimes, people are just busy.

Now go forth, and think a little less.