Christmas Vs Perfection Vs Mental Health

As we settle into the festive season, many of us are already knee-deep in Christmas preparations, the presents are bought and wrapped, party dresses or Christmas jumpers have been unearthed from the back of the wardrobe, and the tree has been hauled in, ready for the kids to decorate (and the parents to subtly redecorate once they’ve gone to bed). Walking through the streets yesterday, I couldn’t help but feel nostalgic as I admire the twinkling trees in windows and wreaths on doors. It was like being transported straight back to my childhood.

I vividly remember around mid-November, when the Argos catalogue would drop through the door, and my siblings and I would start penning our Christmas wish lists. We were still firm believers in Father Christmas back then, and we found it odd that we had to include the Argos codes. Surely Father Christmas wouldn’t need that kind of help, right?

Looking back now, I realise just how much extra work my mum and dad took on from October to December. They were utterly knackered, but they were determined to make sure we had everything we needed. Even if it meant going without themselves, which, as we later realised, they did all too often. The tension in our house between November and Christmas Eve was palpable. They were doing their best to give us the ‘perfect’ Christmas, but in doing so, they got tangled up in the marketing hoopla and the pressure to keep up with the Joneses (or rather, the Smiths next door). What should have been a time of relaxation and family fun became a whirlwind of stress about money, the latest trainers, the best Christmas tree, and yes, ensuring that we had enough toys to make us feel lucky.

Fast-forward to December 2024, and I totally get it. The pressures of Christmas can be overwhelming, especially with the never-ending social media posts that showcase everyone’s perfect festive lives. But here's the thing: the quest for perfection is doing us no favours. It might even be affecting your mental health. So, take a deep breath, and dial it back a bit.

‘Perfectionism can be described as having impossibly high standards and expectations,’ says Ruairí Stewart, a London-based psychotherapist. So why do we do this to ourselves? Why pile on the pressure to make Christmas flawless, when deep down we know that perfection is a myth? How could it be otherwise when there are nearly eight billion of us on this spinning ball of rock, each with our own unique quirks? The very idea of a 'perfect' way of being human is not just unrealistic. It’s a bit of a joke. Honestly, does it matter if the presents are wrapped to perfection with hand-tied bows and sprigs of heather? And no one’s expecting you to cook like Gordon Ramsay on Christmas Day either. Most people are just thrilled to be spending time with you, flaws and all.

In a recent survey by the Mental Health Foundation revealed that over half of UK adults (54%) are worried about the mental health of someone they know this Christmas. What’s more, 31% of adults admitted feeling stressed or anxious as they enter the festive season. Christmas should be a time of joy, but for many, it’s one of the hardest times of the year.

So, to help manage your mental well-being over the holidays, here are some tips from Mentalhealth.org to help you survive and even thrive during this chaotic season:

Talk about your feelings

It can be tough to admit that you’re not feeling all that festive. But talking about your emotions can help lift your mood and make it easier to cope with the harder moments.

Do something you’re good at

Whether it’s baking mince pies, crafting presents, or belting out a Christmas carol, doing what you enjoy helps reduce stress. And if you can combine your hobbies with a bit of Christmas cheer? Even better.

Ask for help

None of us are superheroes, and no one expects you to be. If you’re feeling overwhelmed, don’t be afraid to ask for a little help. We’re all in this together.

Keep in touch

Amid the hustle and bustle, it’s easy to forget to stay connected with loved ones. Make sure to check in on the people who matter most. It’s a simple way to feel supported and to keep your emotional footing.

Accept who you are

Some of us are the life of the party, others are culinary wizards, and some just enjoy a quiet night in. Embrace what makes you you, and remember, you don’t need to fit anyone else’s idea of perfection.

Take a break

If you can, take some time away from the holiday madness. Whether it’s a short getaway or a staycation, a change of pace can do wonders for your mental clarity. Even bolting the lock on the door and binge watching your favourite tv series, film or flicking through the Christmas edition of the TV Times and highlight YOUR choices.

Care for others

Christmas isn’t just about presents. It’s a great opportunity to reach out to people you haven’t seen in a while. A simple message asking how they’re doing can brighten someone’s day and yours too.

Remember, the Christmas holidays aren’t about perfect decorations, flawless meals, or an Instagram-worthy life. They’re about love, connection, and giving yourself and others a break from the pressure. So let’s make this festive season a little less about perfection and a lot more about the simple joys that truly matter.