Christmas is Rubbish

Christmas is rubbish – there I said it.

Now don’t get me wrong, I’m not a Grinch – although my wife might disagree and probably many of you reading this.

Gifts

My main gripe is this whole "it's the time of giving" theme.

Time of giving? What? Give ungrateful people more useless stuff that they don’t need?

Why not give to people that actually need it, like perhaps a local homeless shelter?

The year before last, I donated various amounts to charity, on behalf of my family via https://www.goodgifts.org/  (which is a cracking website btw). For example, I bought my brother who is really into football, Footballs for UK youths. I bought my mum, who had about 10 pets at the time, food for an abandoned cat or dog. I thought it was so much better than getting the usual gift sets from boots they would normally receive. However, I got so much grief off them, that I didn’t bother doing it again. Now they all receive random tat they don’t want.

I always see adults buying other adults new tat like toasters, knives, hammers, and other stuff they don't really need because they already have those things!

Then I see idiots buying their girlfriends expensive jewellery that they won't appreciate in 10 months. What is the point? It is not as if you're going to be together forever anyway...

Loneliness

If you are in a couple, Christmas offers many nice couple activities, like kissing under the mistletoe and making each other heart-shaped gingerbread.

However if you’re single you sit staring into the dark, cold abyss, listening to “Lonely this Christmas” by Mud! Which is a fantastic tune btw! Never mind the constant questions off distant relatives like “Isn’t it time you got a girlfriend/boyfriend”?

Christmas is worse than Valentine’s Day for singletons and it lasts a whole lot longer…….

Snow?

”I’m dreaming of a white Christmas” ?

Not in the UK, I’m not Bing Crosby!

I’m really fed up of dreaming of a White Christmas. Have you ever woke up to snow on December 25th? Or seen any snow whatsoever throughout the Christmas break?

The disappointment of a no-snow Christmas is as bad as going on a beach holiday and it raining all week.

Under pressure

Christmas is supposed to be a time to relax

Yet, when the time comes, there we all are, pushing the weak and the slow out of the way, as we rush to the supermarket in our selfishness, trying to get that last Jamie Oliver Christmas pudding!

You have to make sure your Christmas table is Instagram-ready, don’t you? Traditional Christmas food on table pigs in blankets roast turkey, and Christmas pudding, etc.   

Gluttony

On the twelfth day of Christmas my true love stuffed 2 kilos of roast potatoes, 10 sausage rolls, 2 pounds of trifle, a chocolate orange, eight After Eights, 2 Yule Logs and twelve mince pies. Oh and a pot of turkey curry.

I feel a stone heavier just writing this!

At least there is sherry to wash all that down with. Just do not ask me if I’d like a Baileys. That stuff is horrendous.

What rubs you up the wrong way about Christmas? Or am I all wrong and you love all of the above? I would love to know.