Christmas Miracle

Happy Tuesday, Linkedin Connections! In the hustle and bustle of the business world, we all wish we could take a little time to get to know one another. Unfortunately, that doesn't always happen. November is National Adoption Awareness Month. As a business owner, I treat my clients like family. Eleven months ago, my dream to become a mom finally came true. The beautiful cover photo attached to my article is my son Jack; it was taken on Mother's Day. Becoming a parent is never easy no matter how you make it happens. Here's my story.

Can a dream really come true? Do people even make dreams anymore? Do miracles happen? Do you have to believe in God for your dream to come true? For me, the answers are yes, yes, and yes.

For close to a decade, my husband, Doug, and I desperately wanted a family. We spent tens of thousands of dollars on doctors and tests to later find out that there was nothing medically wrong with us. Some people just cannot get pregnant. For close to five years, we hid our pain from most people. We felt so devastated whenever someone we loved was going to have a baby especially when that couple was on baby two, baby three, baby four, etc.

Was our dream of becoming a family never going to happen? It sure was beginning to look like we would never get our wish.

Doug and I are two very stubborn overachievers. Surely there had to be a way for us to become parents. 

Because of age, costs, and even scarier health risks, IVF was off the table.

Our last hope for our dream to come true was adoption. You might think, adoption should be easy. You just pay some money and then an agency gives you a baby. Oh, my friend, that is so not even close to reality. Adoption, as we learned the hard way, is just as gut-wrenching as pregnancy. As a woman awaiting an adoption, you can feel moody, sad, depressed, happy, angry, and scared all in the same day.

It doesn’t matter if you adopt stateside or if you do an international adoption. All people who go through adoption will see a whole lot of ugly before they ever get to see the pretty.

We picked an agency that was well respected in our community. The only problem was they were a small organization, so the wait time to adopt was long. We ended up being on a waiting list for two years before we were even eligible to adopt a baby.

The first two years on that waiting list was sheer torture. We felt like our life was on hold. The feeling of being stuck in neutral is a horrible experience. We watched family and friends celebrate life while all we wanted to do was stay curled up in a ball.

Once we got off the adoption waiting list, then the true torture began. Our na?ve thinking put us in situations that we literally almost gave up on our dream to become a family so many times I honestly lost track.

One day, out of the blue, I get a call from our agency. It was a warm day in May. I remember standing outside talking to our social worker. She said there was a woman who was going to give birth in July. She matched the criteria we were looking for in a birth mom. I talked to Doug and we decided to be put forward for this adoption.

Here’s where my story could get really sad and really long just like that, but for time purposes, I’d like to give you the short version of our journey.

We were chosen by this birth mom. She ended up delivering a healthy baby boy, but then our story goes dark and dreary very quickly. The birth mom lied about her health. She had major mental health issues, and because of this health status, the state was brought in to protect her and the baby. Oh, and the so-called birth dad also came out of the woodwork. All of this stuff happened within just a few days. We were sort of prepared for a change of heart, but nothing could have prepared us for what would happen next.

The state took the baby into custody and our agency could not do a thing to stop them. There was an adoption plan between us and the birth mom, but then when all of these other factors happened, our game was over.

We ended up losing the opportunity to adopt that baby boy. The only way I can describe how we felt is that we were grieving for the loss of our son. Doug and I were devastated. It took us months to get our lives back.

Then we get a call three months later. It turns out, the state illegally took the child we were supposed to adopt and put him into Foster Care. He was still in Foster Care, but the birth mom wanted him to be adopted by a family from our agency.

For the next three weeks, we fought like hell to get that baby boy away from the state and into our home. In the end, the foster mom convinced the birth mom she shouldn’t let an out of town family adopt her boy because she’d never see him again. And just like that, our dream was killed for the second and final time.

The holidays were coming and I refused to celebrate. I love Christmas, but I just couldn’t be around any kids.

Then I got another call out of the blue from our adoption agency. A baby boy was born a couple of days prior. The birth mom wanted to put her son up for adoption. Were we interested? Before I could answer, I learned more about the baby. He was born 10 weeks early. He was in the NICU and would need to stay there probably for a couple of months. Oh and by the way, the boy is in a town three hours away from your home, so you’ll need to pack up your life for a couple of months. Are you still interested in adopting this child? We said yes, so we assumed the next step would be the birth mom would look at a bunch of photo albums and then choose what family she wanted to parent her son.

I will never forget the next words that came out of our social worker’s mouth, “I’m glad you are willing to be put forward for this adoption. I have to tell you that the birth mom isn’t going to choose the adoptive family.” Wait! What?! “This adoption is an agency pick. You and Doug are at the top of the list.” At the time, we were the longest waiting couple to adopt a child.

By now, tears are rolling down my face. I can’t breathe. I’m having a hard time focusing. Could it really be that Doug and I would finally get our dream?

On Tuesday, December 4th, we became parents! On Friday, December 14th, he legally became our child! Our son, Jack, stayed in the NICU for seven weeks. Mommy and Daddy were there with him every day. We fed him, snuggled with him, bathed him, but most importantly, we got the opportunity to bond with our son.

This is the part of our adoption story that always makes me cry… tears of joy. Jack was our Christmas Miracle! He knew we needed him as much as he needed us. We spent our first Christmas as a family of three in the NICU. It was by far our favorite Christmas!

We will forever be thankful for the nurses and doctors in the NICU at Cox South in Springfield, Missouri. They were incredible! Jack was born 10 weeks early. Ten weeks! He only weighed three pounds eight ounces. If you look at him now, you would never guess he was a preemie. He is so healthy and thriving every day.

I also want to acknowledge and thank our home away from home… The Ronald McDonald House—Cox South. This group of amazing staff and volunteers made us feel right at home. We had a safe place to stay right down the street from our son.

Every family has a story. Ours is one of love and hope. We knew in our hearts that our baby was waiting for us. And with the support of our adoption agency, especially two special people, Amy and Melani, our family has a story worth sharing. Our church, family, and friends have supported us through heartache and surprise. We know in our hearts that with their loving support, their steady hearts and hugs we were ready for our son Jack. And he was ready for us. 

Every day, I pray to God and thank him for our sweet, healthy, smart little angle, Jack! Was I angry at God during our parenthood journey? Absolutely. Did I ever give up on our dream? NO! Do dreams really come true? YES! Can miracles actually happen? ABSOLUTELY! Jack is our evidence. God had a plan. It just took him a long damn time to show his cards.