Christians and Divorce

I advocate for many things- but divorce is not one of them. And I know that surprises people who know my history- which includes not one, but two divorces. 

But to this day, I still have my wedding band. The ring I was given on my wedding day over 15 years ago.

I keep that ring because one day, I will remarry (God willing). And this time, that ring will be an outward sign of a covenant for life- as it should be.

This past December would have been my 15th anniversary.

And a year ago, my daughter asked me how "a professional Christian" could get a divorce. And... I didn't know how to explain that. Because... we shouldn't.

We should be modeling to the world what healthy, lifelong relationships should look like.

And yet.. we divorce probably as often as non believers do.

I know that Biblically, we as Christians have been given a way out of a marriage. But only through two ways that I’m aware- adultery and abandonment. And many would argue that abuse is grounds as well.

And. Having been through two divorces myself, I know why many do. And I don't fault you if one of the above reasons applied to you.

I understand.

But those are the exceptions. To what should be a life of commitment.

And even then? Our God can do some miraculous things through the power of prayer.

Because outside of the above? I don't understand how you could leave someone that once professed to love.

I’ve heard people say, " Well, we grew apart." I’ve heard that many times.

But- spoiler alert- people change! That’s almost inevitable.

And I personally do not view that as a valid reason for divorce. Not considering the cost.

A divorce is painful. It’s the breaking of so much more than a covenant.

Mark 10:8 “And the two shall become one.” That implies to separate, to divorce and break that union will cause a tearing. A ripping.

I once saw it illustrated where two hearts were glued together and allowed to dry. And then someone tried to pull them apart.

It was possible… but shreds and pieces of both remained with the other. Much as it with divorce.

It’s a tearing apart of the heart, even when it’s for the best.

And according to our faith, to divorce is to break a covenant. Which isn’t taken lightly.

NO ONE wins in a divorce. I’ll say it again. No one.

And I’ve gone through two. 

Both were heart achingly, life changing awful. And I don't wish that on anyone.

And divorce, abuse, and infidelity are all symptoms of a far bigger issue.

A turning away from God.

Yes. I believe so much pain and heartache we see in our world, from addictions, abuse, children growing up without a mother or father. I believe all of it centers around our society, world, and nation moving away from God.

We’ve taken prayer out of schools and God out of the home.

And God, above all things, is love.

He is love.

So what we’ve done is taken love out of our homes. Love out of families. Love out of schools and work places.

And without love… what is there?

What's worse is many don't realize how far we've fallen. The newer generations are being blinded to the truth of what God is and what He offers.

Salvation. Healing. And a calling and place in a family that belongs to Him.

We are His.

And as we run from Him, we are falling farther and farther into sin. And depravity. And broken families, broken homes, are a symptom of that.

In a world where divorce rates are rising- even among professing Christians.

And premarital sex is normalized and even encouraged.

You want to talk about a pandemic? Some awful tragedy facing our nation and world?

It's Christians watering down the gospel and lowering the bar to make us mesh more with the world!

We are not called to look like the world! We are called higher!

You stumble and fall short? I know I have and do!

Thank God for His grace and mercy.

But at least AIM high! Don't roll over and be ok with this walking away from the gospel.

I warn you of these evils and lies that go against the gospel…because I once believed them, too.

I didn't always follow Jesus. I didn't always lead a life reflective of my faith.

I aimed low, and fell lower.

But by the grace of God Almighty, when you know better you should do better. And once you know the truth- that there is a still better way, you want to share that with others. As I am.

And as someone who has come to know better and is now following Jesus? Learn from my mistakes. Learn from my broken life and heart.

You. Deserve. Better

Marriage... should be for life.