Choosing Your Next Hero
High up on the list of the most special and meaningful things about coaching, mentoring and helping players develop, particularly young players are the relationships that you have with them. This is often highlighted when you hear a coach or player being interviewed and talking about their development, their pathway and who influenced them.
There are many examples of this. Two that spring to mind are The Class of 92 talking about the late Eric Harrison M.B.E. and the other Ian Wright speaking about his influential school master. Dig them up. Both are epic tales of influence, respectful and dare I say it loving relationships. Powerful stuff.
I recently heard someone ask a question. The question being, ‘Who is your next hero?’ Now we have to be careful here. We are not advocating picking someone and forcing them to be under your scrutiny. What is being referred to is the naturally occurring process of two people, coming or being brought together for reasons of growth and evolution.
In the case of a coach, it will be yourself and one of your players. In the case of a school teacher it is, of course, likely to be one of your class. How are such people chosen?
Anyone who has had such an experience will know that they seem to choose themselves. These things have a will of their own. It is not always a case of the best pupil or the best player either. These things are often subtler than that. It may be you as the coach recognises something admirable in someone. It may, for example, be that they are struggling but show a resilience that strikes a chord in you. Sometimes hardships are a factor. How many coaches or teacher reading this recognise a time in your career when you have taken someone under your wing because they did not have the same advantages as others in your group? Discussions with youth coaches in particular will produce a cascade of meaningful stories of such occurrences, if the question is asked.
We cannot ignore the twenty first centuries barriers that now exist in the name of child welfare and appropriate behaviour but we can still embrace such relationships and recognise them for what they are. Without them, who knows what talent would never grace any stage or impact the world? I am sure you all have memories of special people, from your past and childhood who were your balcony supporters and had your back.
I recall old Mr Martin, my primary school games teacher who was a gentle giant. He was strict but kind. We thought he was a maestro at football. I would have done anything for him and I am sure I am not alone. He just had this way of commanding respect as well as making you feel comfortable. I have often wished I could have met him again after leaving school, just to tell him how he impacted me.
Recently one of the players in a squad I was coaching came to represent a role reversal of this situation. I cannot speak for him, only for myself. We will call him Johnny for the sake of identity protection. He was not the biggest in the group. It was his tenacity, persistence, courage and dislike of getting beaten that drew me to him, along with his bright focussed eyes. These are characteristics I greatly admire.
I often stood him up front and advocated his spirit to others in the hope of inspiring them. In tournaments he was my captain. We had a ceremonial armband procedure before every game prior to the bell to go out on to the pitch. What meant something to me was giving Johnny a genuine hug after presenting the armband. It was like I was transferring leadership to him now that they were on their own, going over that infamous white line. He knew I trusted him, and I did.
I felt he would have run through a brick wall for me and I felt the others knew that too. I don’t consider such things as everyday relationships. I think by their nature they are rare and thus valuable. The book ‘Captain Class’ discusses this well. Thinking back, it was this and another couple of relationships in this particular squad that made it such a special experience being their coach. There is a back story to this. After months of training together this first squad and myself were denied the opportunity to compete in a championships for external reasons. Later on some members of that groups were reunited and we had a second chance. This was when ‘Johnny’ became my captain. The chemistry was never the same potent stuff it was with the first squad but we galvanised what we could and maxed out.
That chapter is over now. “Johnny’ is still around. I can hand on heart say the words “Johnny I love you" and genuinely mean it. What more could anyone want from a job?
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