Choosing Your Life: The Art of Purposeful Living
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In a world filled with endless choices and opportunities, the path to self-discovery and fulfillment begins with a single, profound decision – Choosing your life. Each day, we are presented with a multitude of choices, from the mundane to the life-altering. Like pieces of a puzzle, they come together to form the unique tapestry of our existence. How can we be sure that we are constantly making purposeful choices to earn a life that we truly want - and live it with passion and purpose?
Choosing - or 'Earning' Your Life
When it comes to choosing your life, there is an interesting concept called living an "Earned life". Introduced by world renowned executive coach - Dr. Marshall Goldsmith, it is the result of conscious choices we make to "visualize" the desired "us" that we long for. It stands in stark contrast to a "default" life, one where decisions are made by inertia or external forces, often leading to a sense of regret and unfulfillment.
According to Goldsmith, our choices play a vital role in shaping our fate. Life is not merely a series of events that happen to us; rather, it is a culmination of decisions we make that define who we become. His approach underscores the importance of actively choosing one's own path, a journey that transcends mere existence and ultimately leads to a life well-lived.
The Importance of Choosing Your Life
When you earn the decision of choosing your own path, you are essentially taking control of your destiny. It’s your right to decide what kind of life you want to live - and what you want to achieve. This can be challenging, but also very rewarding - as you are living a life that is aligned with your values and empowering you to make a difference in the world.
On the other hand, if you don't start thinking about your direction right now, you are likely to tread paths that deviate you away from opportunities to flourish. Worse, you have no right (nor does it do any good) to complain when things go wrong.
Now, let’s say you choose to study medicine just because your family members/ friends insist it’s the best career path for you - and totally abandon your love for arts. After a few years in medical school, you realized how much determination it required to follow this path, and you just can’t bear it. By then, you cannot blame anybody, even your mom, for what’s happening to you.
The best thing you can do right now is to start ‘choosing your life’ by asking yourself: "What do I want, and why?"
Choosing Your Life - The Every Breath Paradigm
Before diving deeper into how to choose your life, let’s talk about ‘The Every Breath Paradigm’ first. This term, mentioned by Marshall Goldsmith in his bestseller 'The Earned Life', is a concept inspired by Buddhist philosophies, offering a profound way of understanding the impermanence of life. It invites us to recognize that with every inhale and exhale, life unfolds, and with each breath, the world is in constant flux. In other words, with every breath you take, a new you is born.
The Every Breath Paradigm encourages us to embrace the transitory nature of existence, acknowledging that nothing remains static. By observing the world's impermanence within each breath, we gain deeper insights into the constantly changing nature of everything around us - from then, we are better equipped to live a more present and intentional life.
The main idea here is that we should learn to appreciate the beauty of the present moment - for each breath carries with it a unique experience that will never be replicated. Being fully present in every breath allows us to let go of attachments to the past and anxieties about the future. This mindfulness enables us to make conscious choices and savor the richness of life as it unfolds. It reminds us that the journey itself is as valuable as any destination - for this reason, one should always strive to fill their life with gratitude, awareness, and a profound sense of the interconnectedness of all things.
What is Stopping You From Choosing Your Life?
Inertia refers to a state of inactivity or resistance to change. An example is sticking to a job you dislike out of comfort and fear of the uncertainty of switching careers - as a result, you accept the current situation without embracing the new (yet unforeseeable) opportunities that will arise as you leave your job.
Our upbringing and societal conditioning play a significant part in shaping our beliefs. For instance, if someone was brought up being taught that pursuing a creative career is impractical, they are likely to refrain from exploring their artistic talents, locking themselves into a less fulfilling career.
For those who wish to tread the path of choosing your life, we must be very mindful of the settings that we received from previous generations - and to unlearn those that are no longer beneficial/ relevant.
Obligations, such as family responsibilities, has long been a major hindrance to many people's personal growth. We've all seen it before - people who delay pursuing higher education, because they feel obliged to financially support their family.
As human beings, we are naturally bound to our promise and responsibility with others. However, choosing your life requires you to unlearn this way of thinking, as it is not realistic at all. None of us can please everyone at all times - in all situations.
As Goldsmith discussed in his bestseller, the pace of life we're currently experiencing is the slowest it will ever be for the rest of our lives. In other words, we are constantly pressured to adapt to ongoing changes - falling behind in this race means missed opportunities and diminished quality of life.
To thrive amidst the current chaos, one must commit themselves to lifelong learning, and cultivate mindfulness as a powerful tool for navigating the whirlwind of change with clarity and grace.
Time is an effective measurement - and yet, it is also a major blocking stone in our journey towards self mastery. Young adults enter life with full energy and, seemingly, an infinite amount of time in hand. No wonder why many tend to waste their time on meaningless tasks and temporary joy. On the contrary, those in the second half of their lives usually think they’ve worked enough, earned enough, and lived enough - this mindset discourages them from pursuing their dream.
Donald Trump became the president of the United States at the age of 70 - while Mark Zuckerberg, CEO of Meta Platforms, became the world's youngest self-made billionaire at the age of 23. Everyone has their own timeline; don’t let your age stop you from getting what you want.
We Need to Follow Our Dreams
Following your heart and not letting others dictate your choices is the crucial component of a fulfilling and authentic life. The pursuit of dreams requires you to prioritize your own needs, passions, and values, rather than conforming to external expectations/ societal norms.
Various research has proven that those who follow their dreams often find more satisfaction and success in their careers - owing to the fact that they are doing what they really love. For example, a survey by Mashable found that only 22% of adults pursue their childhood dream jobs, but those who do report an overwhelmingly high level of job satisfaction (nearly 90%). Entrepreneurs who start businesses based on their passions are more likely to thrive - because their work is driven by genuine enthusiasm.
Moreover, following your desire is also vital to personal growth and self-discovery. It allows you to learn from experiences and make choices that align with your innermost convictions. While it is always recommended to seek advice from others, ultimately, you should trust your intuition and values when it comes to making significant decisions.
Remember that it's your life - and making conscious choices is your responsibility to enjoy a better life.
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