Choosing the words that transform conversations

What if you could know exactly how your new recruit, boss or a client thinks and what motivates him/her and how them makes decisions so that so you can change their mind in your favour?

I am sure this sounds almost unrealistic right. But Rodger Bailey in 1980's worked on this very problem and developed the 14 Patterns for Mastering the Language of Influence.

In one of my earlier post, I shared a pattern that is quite observed commonly which is Motivation Direction: Toward vs. Away From.

But it is just one of 14 patterns that exists that when understood can help any business leaders to understand and predict how people think, make decisions, and respond to different situations.

By mastering these patterns, anyone can tailor communication to be more persuasive and effective and avoid costly mistakes hiring wrong person, working with wrong boss or losing clients by speaking words that doesn't influence them.

If you see, most of problems be it at work, at home or even world at large can be attributed to poor communication (or a lack of it altogether). So having a tailor made solutions to communication problems has been the focus of much study and the development of many models and Lab Profile that Rodger Bailey developed is one of the most fascinating ones.

I use some of the patterns and it has given tremendous benefits in my interactions with clients, even at my home with my daughter and many other situations. Ofcourse, these patterns to understand and be aware at the right time and apply requires sufficient practice but it is worth!

Because, in general people have inherent flexibility to shift thinking and behavior as situations change. Generalizing in to few buckets like introvert, extroverts, ethnicity, nationality, genders or age make it seem simple, fact is it doesn't cover everything and this is common mistake many people keep making.

For example a common mistake that happens is thinking that one must hire people who are similar to their style. But reality as CEO or Business owner,, you don't to have to surround yourself with people who think exactly as you.. It will be disaster if that happens.

Instead good to bring people who are different and learn how to work with them. This expands the knowledge as well as gives chance to see alternate views.

So how does one figure out how people think, what motivates them or how they make decisions?

The traditional way that people communication is depended on ones history, sense of identity, beliefs they hold, and values, as well as perceptions and interpretations of what is going.

This makes when someone communicate with us, we squeeze the message through our own personal filtering system to understand.

That is why people from the same ethnic, cultural, gender, national, or geographic grouping have some common history and beliefs and hence communication within these groups easier, than between people who come from different backgrounds.

But there is another way to see, which is much neutral and that is by understanding how our brain process information.

Indeed there are unique ways our brain process, and brain is pattern recognition machine. It has created many patterns and tries to operate on those patterns only. Language is pattern and with in a language the way we process also has patterns.

This is where Rodger Bailey document 14 critical patterns that summarizes how the human population is divided among these patterns. Within each pattern there are 2 options exists and in any organizations we can find 40% stick to one side and 40% other and also there are 20% who fit to both.

Example for Motivation Direction: Toward vs. Away From, we can find in a company 40% stick towards and 40% away and 20% in between. The key is if you are making a joint decision, how do get people say YES whose patterns are different from yours.

Knowing the set of questions, keywords that must be used will give a big advantage.

For example, for Towards & Away From, here is question to be used

"Why is that important?"

And keywords for towards pattern are, "Benefit, gain, achieve, want"

And keywords for Away pattern are, "Don't want, avoid, prevent, fix, not have"

We will leave that to next post, but in this post, let examine the 14 patterns. First 7 are called, Motivation Patterns and next 7 are called Productivity patterns.

1. Motivation Direction: Toward vs. Away From

• Toward:?People motivated by goals, objectives, and what they want to achieve. They are driven by positive outcomes.
• Away From:?Individuals motivated by problems they want to avoid or prevent. They focus on potential risks and what could go wrong.

2. Reason: Internal vs. External

• Internal:?These individuals rely on their own judgments, beliefs, and standards to make decisions. They trust their own opinions and may resist external advice.
• External:?People who seek validation, feedback, and advice from others. They depend on external references to make decisions.

3. Criteria: Options vs. Procedures

• Options:?Individuals who prefer to have choices and variety. They enjoy exploring alternatives and dislike being confined to one method.
• Procedures:?Those who prefer step-by-step processes and routines. They like following established procedures and feel comfortable with structure.

4. Frame of Reference: Sameness vs. Difference

• Sameness:?People who look for similarities, consistency, and stability. They prefer what is familiar and often resist change.
• Difference:?Individuals who focus on what is new, different, and unique. They are driven by change and innovation.

5. Scope: General vs. Specific

• General:?These individuals think in broad terms and focus on the big picture. They are comfortable with abstract ideas and concepts.
• Specific:?People who focus on details, facts, and specifics. They need concrete information and clarity to feel comfortable.

6. Stress Response: Proactive vs. Reactive

• Proactive:?Individuals who take initiative, make things happen, and prefer to act quickly. They often plan ahead and seek control over situations.
• Reactive:?People who prefer to respond to situations as they arise. They may take time to consider options before taking action.

7. Decision Factors: Convincer Patterns

• Convincer Mode:?How people need to be convinced. Modes include seeing (visual), hearing (auditory), reading, or doing (kinesthetic).
• Convincer Frequency:?How often a person needs to be convinced. Some need convincing once, others multiple times, or consistently over time.

8. Level: Chunk Size

• Big Chunk:?These individuals focus on the overall idea or concept. They are comfortable with high-level, strategic thinking.
• Small Chunk:?People who concentrate on the finer details. They prefer to break things down into manageable steps.

9. Relationship: Matching vs. Mismatching

• Matching:?Individuals who agree, align with others, and seek to fit in. They look for common ground and tend to affirm others' views.
• Mismatching:?People who tend to find differences, disagree, and may challenge or question ideas. They often play the role of devil’s advocate.

10. Reasoning Patterns: Necessity vs. Possibility

• Necessity:?Individuals who are driven by what they need to do, obligations, and responsibilities. They focus on what must be done.
• Possibility:?People motivated by potential, opportunities, and what could be. They are inspired by what’s possible, not just what’s necessary.

11. Time Orientation: Past, Present, Future

• Past:?Individuals who are influenced by their past experiences and traditions. They rely on history and proven methods.
• Present:?People who focus on the here and now. They live in the moment and make decisions based on current circumstances.
• Future:?Those who are oriented toward future possibilities and long-term outcomes. They are driven by visions of what lies ahead.

12. Task Type: Independent, Cooperative, Proximity

• Independent:?Individuals who prefer to work alone and make decisions by themselves. They value autonomy and self-reliance.
• Cooperative:?People who enjoy working with others and value collaboration. They prefer teamwork and joint decision-making.
• Proximity:?Those who need a mix of independence and collaboration. They like to work alongside others but not necessarily in direct cooperation.

13. Working Style: Consistency vs. Variety

• Consistency:?Individuals who prefer routine, predictability, and stability. They thrive on consistency and repetition.
• Variety:?People who seek out new experiences, change, and diversity in their tasks. They become bored with routine and enjoy dynamic environments.

14. Energy Source: Internal vs. External

• Internal:?These individuals draw their energy from within. They are self-motivated and introspective, often needing time alone to recharge.
• External:?People who gain energy from interacting with others and external stimuli. They are outgoing and feel energized by social interactions.

Now are you curious to know what patterns you exhibit at work. Then you can take 5 minute test of LabProfile here

Shelle Rose Charvet who has written the book Words that change mind has created this free yet amazing test. I am sure you will gain a deeper understanding of your working style with this test. Go ahead and take this free test

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