Choosing the Right Mentor

Everyone loves Willie Nelson. Here in Texas, he IS the entire Mt. Rushmore of greatness. Willie Nelson is certainly a great influence and mentor to many country bands we hear today. And although I got to sit next to him on a nine hour flight and learned a lot, he hasn't been one of my mentors. Imagine how my career might have turned out had that been the case!

I have been mentoring a couple of younger professionals when one asked me a great question: ''How do I find the right mentor as my career adapts or changes?

I have had several mentors and consider it important to get someone else's feedback. Rarely one is successful without a mentor somewhere along the way, so here are some traits to look for in choosing a mentor.

1) Find a mentor who is more interested in you as a person than your career. They will help you align to do the things you want to do to the best of your ability! A good mentor will communicate with you in non-verbal queues that go deeper than the words they say. My best mentor was able to pay less attention to the words and greater attention to the tone of my voice and use of hands when I spoke. From there, his advice mirrored what I had said to him - non-verbally. Your mentor will cut off his/her interior thinking and direct their attention to the passion in your voice and the emotions which you will reveal more when the other person is truly listening.

2) Find a mentor who challenges you. There are a lot of great people who mean well but will lull you into a state of complacency with endless praise. Submit to the discipleship of a mentor sometimes means you have to be willing to be challenged. In the end, this is the highest form of honesty and love.

3) Meld the dynamics of their ideas into your own capacity to execute on them. Share the vision, but play to your strengths as your mentor guides you. Gently adapt their ideas into our circumstances, with enough fluidity to find balance. Be intellectually honest enough with yourself to admit that what you may have been doing/believing/thinking all these years might be wrong. Old methods seldom stay true in an ever-changing world, so don't let old assumptions cement themselves into your thinking!

4) Finally, in all things, show gratitude, and forgive yourselves of mistakes we our prone to repeat until we get it right. Appreciation for the effort only perpetuates greater results. If we lose our empathy towards one another, we will lose touch with reality. Our colleagues can become unintended casualties of our own self-reliance. We will always make mistakes along the way, becoming entangled in office-space jealousies and warped perceptions. But a good mentor helps you to realize this and steers you in a path of safe-keeping. It is called Social Intelligence, learning how to put ourselves into the other person's shoes.

Epilogue

We usually meet famous people at some time or another. Willie Nelson was just one of many, but truly my favorite. He mentioned to me that he doubted he ever would have picked up music if he hadn't listened to Muddy Waters and old R&B music. With his gentle voice he is always on pitch, but despite the natural gifts he had, Willie Nelson wasn't sure what he'd ever do with his life. His mentors recognized his talent and pushed him to a career in music.

Who pushes you to achieve more? Share a thought or two about your mentors and what they mean to you. I'd love to read your stories!

Robert Bluestein