Choosing the Path of Most Resistance

You’ve likely heard the saying, “I’ll take the path of least resistance.” For those who want to avoid conflict, it often appears to be the best way forward. In consulting however, choosing the path of least resistance is often the one that will lead your project to broken promises or failed solutions.

To understand the value of choosing the path of most resistance, it’s important to understand what’s underneath it. Resistance is fear made visible. For consultants working with clients, it often represents the inability or reluctance to express some concern. In Peter Block’s Flawless Consulting: A Guide to Getting Your Expertise Used, it’s explained as such,

“There is no way you can talk clients out of their resistance because resistance is an emotional process. Behind the resistance are certain feelings, and you cannot talk people out of how they are feeling.”

How to we help our clients express their concerns, or feelings, more directly, without disguising? And, why is it so important to do?

Why we walk toward resistance is fairly obvious if you understand what drives it. Resistance is fear or some type of underlying concern. These fears or concerns, if left unexplored, are most certainly the things that will impede your ability to recommend a sustainable and impactful solution to your client. As consultants, it’s important to remind ourselves that the client’s behavior is not a reflection on us. We often have done nothing wrong to create resistance. The “wrong” happens when we fail to confront it.

Choosing the path of most resistance compels us to help the client express their concerns so they can pass. In Flawless Consulting, it’s referred to as “stating the reservations directly and stopping the subterfuge. When the client’s concerns are stated directly, the consultant knows what the real issues are and can respond effectively.”

There are three steps for handling resistance.

1. Identify in your own mind what form the resistance is taking. Pick up the cues and describe to yourself what you see or hear happening.
2. State in a neutral, unpunishing way, the form the resistance in taking. This is called “naming the resistance.” The skill is to find the neutral language. Simply state what you see or hear. Be careful to not place judgement on your observation. Describe the behavior … not what you think the behavior means.
3. Be quiet. We keep talking to reduce the tension when we feel when we confront the client. Don’t keep talking. Live with the tension. Then, let your client respond to your observation and discuss what’s creating it and how best to move forward.

There is no way you can talk clients out of their resistance because resistance is an emotional process. However, there are specific steps a consultant can take to help a client get past the resistance and get on with solving the problem. As consultants that’s our goal … to help a client solve a problem so that it stays solved. Choosing the path of least resistance won’t get us there. Be flawless and walk head on into challenging conversations. Do so with real compassion for what the client is feeling and be authentic in your desire to help. When we do so, choosing the path of most resistance isn’t nearly as hard.

Interested in learning more about dealing with resistance or how to be a flawless consultant? Check out the Designed Learning website or reach out to me directly for more information.