Choosing to have a choice

To start with it was Sunday long run day. But my calf muscles were incredibly tender from one leg calf raises at ballet on Friday, and hills at Park Run Saturday. I really didn’t feel like a run. So I chose to go for a walk.

Sometimes I feel it’s a cop out to walk instead of run (and I’ll never be ready for my 12km race in April), but this year I am choosing to be a little kinder to my body when I need it. I’m doing different things to my body with ballet, with my physio exercises and with trying to change the way I run post my running assessment.?

I cannot tell you how pleased I am that I walked instead of running. It was soooooo beautiful. I couldn’t stop take photos, and it was so much easier to see everything when I was walking. And I listened to 2 excellent coaching podcasts. I was super happy afterwards.?

The benefits of the walk far outweighed the feeling that I should have gone for a run.?

And then I had a big family lunch. I was going to drive, nice and easy, just over an hour. But I’ve barely touched my novel this weekend and it’s getting really exciting. I really wanted to read it.

Oh hang on. Here’s a different choice. I can catch the train and read instead of driving. The pub we were meeting at is across the road from the station. Checked timetables and no track work - how much does the world love me? So I got to finish.a podcast and do some reading. An added bonus was not worrying about parking when I arrived.

When I was saying goodbye, because I was off to catch the train back home, my brother was so excited he could give me a lift and not drive home on his own. Hmmm, time for a choice. To offend him and take the train to read my book, or to do the ‘right thing’ and keep him company? So I said no thanks, I’d love to but I want to read my book.

Am I bad person? Well I am choosing to think I am not. He could’ve chosen different options. And I already had the plan in place. It’s not like I said I would and then changed my mind.?

But I’m allowed to choose what I want to do - why should I be the one that says yes to keep him happy? Why can’t I say yes to myself to keep myself happy??

This is the whole point to my whiteboard this year with WENDY written on it in the biggest letters (in fact it wasn’t big enough so I rubbed it out and re-did it to make it even bigger when I forgot to say yes to myself).?

Yesterday I told myself I had a choice. And I think this is really important.?

When we tell ourselves we have a choice, things feel lighter and that there is more possibility.

But when I think I have no choice, it feels so heavy. It nearly makes things feel impossible.?

Over the last decade I’ve often felt trapped in my job. That I can’t get out, that’s it’s too hard to make a change, that there are no other options. That I didn’t have any choice,?

Yet here I am, choosing to try something new with coaching. Choosing to give away so much of my so called free time to learn and practice and now to start preparing for my exam.?

It’s lightening how I feel about the future.?

I suddenly realised that there is always a choice.?

If you are like me, with a never ending to do list, especially a to do list that is never finished, choices feel impossible. How would you ever find time to make a different choice?

It requires a remembering there is a choice, time to think about what other choices there might be, energy to make a plan for the different choice and then the implementation of the choice.?

But as I’ve finally started making better choices for myself, I’ve learnt that it is worth it.?

Life feels so much better when we aren’t feeling like a victim, but feeling in charge of our own destiny.

And I think a big part of that is making more conscious choices.?

Life is so busy we get stuck in routines to try and get us through.

Like everything else, if we start the process, then we can practice and improve. We eventually start remembering automatically that we have choices, and we can become great at choosing the best options, not for everyone else, but for ourselves.?

What choices do you have that maybe you can’t see right now??

Because I’m thinking you have more choices than you realise when you start paying attention.

If you want a hand to dig in and get serious about opening up some choices, let’s set up a time to talk. I love anything we can do to make things feel lighter and more positive. Bring on some happy for a Monday!