Choosing Abundance: How a Scarcity Mindset Hurts Everyone

I consider myself the proud parent of two of the most generous people I know. For decades now, our kids have been my role models when it comes to practicing generosity and cultivating an abundance mentality. I have learned many life and leadership lessons just from watching them in action.

One such lesson is that generosity and an abundance mentality go hand-in-hand; it’s almost impossible for one to exist without the other. The inverse is true as well; those afflicted with a scarcity mentality invariably end up hoarding whatever they have while at the same time resenting the success and happiness of others. It’s just as the old adage goes, a closed fist cannot lose anything but cannot gain anything either, while an open hand is able to give as well as receive. I don’t think it would be a stretch to say that we all intuitively know this, but how many of us actually practice it?

I’ve watched my daughter buy a bag full of ready-to-eat groceries from the store and hand it to the person standing outside asking for food. I’ve also observed my son’s usual response when asked by the cashier if he’d like to donate to their food drive or other charitable campaign. He usually just asks, "What’s the highest amount coupon I can buy?"

I have to admit that my default mode in those cases—and I’m not proud of this—would have been to think the person outside the grocery store looked well-fed and healthy enough, and that I have no idea how much money collected by the grocery store actually makes it to the hands of the needy.

Both responses are perfectly “logical” and many of you reading this article may even agree with them. But I know in my heart of hearts that these are simply knee-jerk reactions arising from a deeply-rooted scarcity mentality that many of us have adopted by default.

At the same time, I also know that when I am intentional about going beyond my default mode, when I freely extend generosity, I literally feel the abundance. And I'm not talking about the idea of receiving more because I have given more—although I do believe that also happens. I’m talking about the act of generosity literally creating a palpable sense of abundance and flourishing in that very moment.

So, let’s go back and examine one of my initial, “logical” responses. When it really comes down to it, the truth is that buying $60 worth of groceries for someone would have absolutely no effect on my lifestyle or buying power at all. On the other hand, doing so could make a huge difference in the other person’s experience of life, both physically and mentally.

Examined with actual logic, there’s literally no reason for me not to be generous in this scenario; there are no negative repercussions for me, and there’s also guaranteed substantial benefit to someone else. Since this is almost always the case when it comes to charity—a fact which is obvious to those with an abundance mentality—not being generous is almost always completely illogical!

This is even more true when we understand that the benefits of generosity apply to both giver and receiver.

For the giver, a simple act of generosity instantly gives them access to the abundance mindset. It transforms their experience of themselves from merely being a consumer to being a contributor, bolstering their sense of agency to do good in the world as well as reinforcing their sense of security in their own resources. This is because generosity is essentially a functional confirmation of wealth and abundance; it says that you have so much–or have faith that you do—that you can afford to give without fear. It transforms the giver from someone in constant fear and worry of how much they have to lose, to someone content with and grateful for everything they have.

For the receiver, the benefit seems obvious, but it goes deeper than that. Beyond the actual material assistance they receive, an act of generosity also reinforces the idea that the world is not as cruel and callous as it can seem and that there are those who still see and care about them as fellow human beings. It lets them know that there are still those out there they can trust and rely on through hard times. This, in turn, contributes to the softening and eventual dissolution of their own scarcity mindset, fueling the virtuous cycle of abundance.

The point is, regardless of what’s being given, the graciousness of generosity helps restore people’s faith in humanity, in goodness, in compassion—both in our own and that of others—for the benefit of all.

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Every year, Northpoint Church in Atlanta partners with several local charities in the area and collects money and acts of service to go directly to those charities. The campaign is called "Be Rich!" The way Pastor Andy Stanley explains it, most people who are rich in terms of their possessions don’t really feel rich because "being rich" isn’t about what you have, but about knowing you have enough to be generous.

This is important to note because, similarly, a scarcity or abundance mindset isn’t really a reflection of any objective measure of available resources. As with any other mindset, they are stories we tell ourselves rooted in the context of how we relate to ourselves, others, the world, our feelings about our own ability and worth, and so on.

I’ve personally known plenty of people who were very generous in spite of having very little in terms of material possessions. Unfortunately, nowadays we all know plenty of people who, despite being literally some of the richest men in history, are so insecure in their wealth and status that they feel the need to rob others of what meager benefits they rely on to barely scrape by.

This is basically the inverse of generosity: taking things away from others in a way that both leaves them significantly worse off while at the same time providing no appreciable benefit to the one doing the taking. Not only that, but as people literally have things taken away from them, they become more guarded and selfish, adopting a scarcity mindset in an attempt to preserve the resources they do have. This leads to people engaging in activities, like hoarding and refusing to be generous themselves, which end up increasing actual scarcity. So a scarcity mindset becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy that fuels a vicious cycle with no end in sight.

Bottom line: the “anti-generosity” of a scarcity mindset essentially creates a net loss for everyone, so it’s actually worse than simply doing nothing.

Unfortunately, I have seen examples of this in the workplace as well. While many people generously train and coach others to be successful, there are also those who held back their contributions because they want to continue feeling superior. I have personally heard tenured people speak out against training and development plans because—according to their “logic”—if they had to suffer through the school of hard knocks and pay their dues, others should have to as well. Far from any actual lack of resources, it is this resentment, envy, and fear that truly fuels the scarcity mindset.

Something I have noticed in myself and others is that we tend to justify our scarcity mentality rather than admit it and do something about it. This is partly because, as mentioned above, generosity always makes more sense than “anti-generosity,” and so we have had to come up with lots of artificial reasons and excuses to rationalize maintaining what is fundamentally an irrational position.

Similarly, since a scarcity mindset never has to do with actual scarcity, we have also had to come up with lots of excuses and deflections to distract from the reality that our scarcity mindset is more about our beliefs and feelings than any actual facts. Eventually, we start buying into our own propaganda, and then one day we even forget that it was propaganda to begin with!

The latest anti-DEI rhetoric is yet another example of people buying into their own “anti-generosity” propaganda. People who have never experienced the plight of those whose opportunities are limited by differences they can do nothing about, acting aggressively to make sure they have even fewer opportunities. And might I add, this is all being done for no appreciable benefit to themselves.

The scarcity mentality being sold—ironically—by a few wealthy, powerful people and bought—also ironically—mainly by people who are neither wealthy nor powerful is exactly the sort of mindset that ensures that no one truly benefits in the end.

Not only is it ludicrous to believe that extending equitable opportunities to those who have been denied the chance to learn and grow and contribute will take something away from others who have had far more opportunity, but believing in the reverse is just as ridiculous; removing opportunities from those who have fewer will not in any way benefit those who have more.

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If there is any silver lining, it’s the hope that the vast array of policies being brazenly implemented in the US to reduce equitable opportunities offers a teachable moment for everyone to observe the flaws in this way of thinking.

These policy changes are akin to saying that buildings should no longer be required to provide access to people who use wheelchairs, because them receiving special treatment somehow diminishes people who don’t. Actually, it’s more like requiring all previously built accessibility accommodations to be dismantled, even though doing so would be significantly more costly and inconvenient than simply doing nothing!

Obviously, not everyone uses a wheelchair, but the idea is the same for anyone whose opportunities are limited. Treating everyone the same is equal in the sense that everyone has to overcome the same obstacle. But it’s not equitable because we don’t all have the same abilities or resources to overcome that obstacle.

Now, can it be decreed that certain groups of people no longer receive special treatment? Of course. But the real question is: What compelling reason is there to do so? How does it actually improve the situation for anyone? When it comes to a scarcity mindset and “anti-generosity,” the answer is almost always that it doesn’t; it’s worse than doing nothing.

Of course, if you’re intent on justifying your position, you’ll always be able to do so; we humans excel at that if at nothing else. Someone will always be able to find an example of how somebody abused the system and make it sound like that’s the norm. This is an old playbook that has been used for ages. Micromanagers have instituted rules based on the 1% who abuse them, inconveniencing the 99% who don't. Toxic bosses have eliminated privileges for entire organizations, citing single-digit instances of their abuse.

This reveals another strange characteristic of a scarcity mentality: an inordinate, obsessive fixation on punishment. The targets are usually anyone who refuses to stroke the fragile ego or support the false narrative of those who hold the scarcity mindset. Since a scarcity mentality always stems from fragility, insecurity, and lack of self-confidence, any person who triggers these feelings or might expose them is treated as an existential threat. Ironically, the feverish desperation with which punishment is directed toward these threats merely confirms how fearful those with a scarcity mindset are about the truth coming out. There is a lot more to say on this aspect alone, but I’ll leave it here for now.

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Whatever the case, the real question we each face right now is whether we choose abundance or scarcity, compassion or ruthlessness, generosity or cruelty. And make no mistake, it is a choice that we all freely make, whether we want to or not.

While both mindsets create self-fulfilling prophecies, the scarcity mindset is the default and is the more self-sustaining of the two. No matter how much wealth and success there is, there will never be a point where a scarcity mentality can’t be justified or a point where it naturally exhausts itself. That’s why it’s so critical to intentionally cultivate and practice an abundance mindset.

Corporate and government policies have a profound effect on the frameworks that guide people's behavior, but in the end, it is the collective individual choices that are made day-in-and-day-out that shape the culture of a team, a company, a community, or society.

I have seen teams stand out as oases of hope and prosperity in the midst of toxic cultures being perpetrated from the top. I have seen leaders single-handedly transform the culture of an organization by simply role-modeling the behavior they wanted to see. It is possible, and it has been done before. The key is to stop waiting for permission, or evidence, or the right time, and to decide right now that you are going to adopt an abundance mentality and start practicing it.

Regardless of your company's position on DEI, how will you act in the face of inequitable behaviors and policies? Will you ignore the inner voice compelling you to say or do what's right? Or will you silently watch opportunities being taken away as you merely shake your head in disapproval? Before you make your choice, just ask yourself: “Does this actually make sense? Will this leave us all better or worse off in the end?”

Further Resources

If you’d like to learn more about topics covered in this week’s newsletter article, check out the related resources I’ve included below.

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