#choosetochallenge

Throughout my growing up days, we almost never lived in a house, where we had running water in the taps 24/7; we choose to build a little tank inside and store water when we got it.

Every problem as a middle class Indian was seen as, How do we get past this? How do we get past that?

Not a minute was spent complaining or feeling inferior to those who had access to water or even had a car. Rather equality was driven as a mindset with compassion for who had and had not.

Being the only child of a scientist with a patent in his name, my father showed me the way to be strong and pave my way. For him there was no difference if I was a boy or a girl. This frame of mind is what made me who I am today.

Now did I encounter challenges, a big YES....here are some of them. I want you to read them, because when I was younger I didn't see them as discrimination, I didn't have the knowledge I have today about gender disparity. I simply saw them as challenges.

Today, I think it important to make the distinction between challenge and discrimination so that you can take the right steps.

Here are 4 situations where I felt challenged:

My divorce:

I changed 6 lawyers in India, before I could get a divorce. The first 6 were women, unfortunately, who wanted me to give up, and told me if was impossible to get a divorce for my situation. It was finally a man lawyer who stood my my side and taught me to be strong and fight for equality.

These were my lawyers words: "Deepa you have caught the tiger's tail, you either learn to ride the tiger or be swung around."

I choose to fight

My H1B visa:

When I got my H1B visa and a passed a job technical interview, I was told I was not apt for the job, because I am a single mom who won't be able to work. I was angry that day, because I had waited 18 months to have those papers.

I remember my mother said to me: There will be other opportunities.

I choose to open new doors

My 80% pay rise

Back then, while changing jobs, in the silicon valley of India Bangalore, I knew I could easily ask for a 40% pay raise to be on par with the market and of course men. But the agency told me I could ask for 80%, because that was the normal. I was in a management position, with a very small team size and low responsibilities as compared to my male counterparts. Why? Was I just a quota? Yes. that was the case. I choose quickly. I choose to leave.

You need to feel valued where ever you are. That is a non-negotiable.

My Colour or my Gender

I had worked on a client proposal for 6 months. I knew the subject and I knew the client. I still remember that meeting room where I was told:

"You can't be the one to make that presentation".

I realised in that moment I was facing racial discrimination, because the person chosen to make the presentation was a man who didn't speak good english. It was obvious, it was my colour.

It is easy to be angry with those to exclude us. It is hard to have compassion for them.

In moments of anger I turn to my mother, and she often said: You don't know what they are going through.

I understand those words today.

Have compassion for your self.

Have compassion for those who discriminate you.

AND Always choose to challenge.

Author Bio:

Deepa is the founder of MeetMyPotential, where she helps people live their full potential in their whole life: www.meetmypotential.com