#ChoosetoChallenge Celebrating Women's Day

So today marks another International Women's Day, and it has me thinking about how differently we are marking such events this year. It's hard to believe that we haven't even had full equal rights to vote for a century yet. But our popular culture isn't even aware of this truth en masse. The understanding of women's suffrage in popular culture indicates that women had the right to vote in 1918. But it was still only certain women in certain jurisdictions at that time. How far we've come everywhere though in spite of this essential right being so disjointedly granted and fought for on so many different fronts.

I've recently become hooked on a tv show you may know called The Good Doctor. The episode I watched last night covered the issue of female castrations and the unquestionable pressure of family and historical culture on women of a modern age, where we have the right to say what we do with our bodies, our time, and our emotions. As it happens, it also meant that I had a discussion with my daughter about what genital mutilation is, about women as chattle and about what we can choose about our bodies. Of course, these are super heavy topics, especially for a 10 year old, but from what I can see happening just in the school dynamics of her small rural school, this is undisputedly necessary conversation to be having. What I can see in her small rural school dynamic is legacy misogyny in it's finest fighting form, ever present in nearly every interaction she has with boisterous and popular boys, who are aggressive and vocal, and very present in every moment. Raising a girl to be fiercely independent and gracious and kind and untarnished by misogyny feels impossible. We grow up to be "cynical" and "bitchy" and "unapproachable" or "uncooperative" if we're not able to learn also how to do this with finesse and in high heels. In mid pandemic "work from home" times, this is doubly difficult. We're wearing yoga pants and the example we are able to finally teach is that you don't have to wear the heels to achieve the winning tactics of assertiveness with finesse, but you still gotta wear the lipstick.

I personally try to balance this with messaging in my circles and with my daughter that I admire their courage to stand up and be themselves in spite of expectations. I think of the time I told a colleague that I was in awe of her courage to bring her knitting to a workshop in our office where brainstorming and process engineering were the focus. Her knitting helps her focus and helps her deliver exponentially better contributions. Makes sense to bring what works into the meeting under those circumstances, but it's not always feasible, and it was most definitely the example of courage I was calling out. This was huge, even in it's smallness of things.

I think about some of the things I've heard this morning as well. 5 years ago, this was just a day like any other in my circles. It wasn't something we broadly talked about, celebrated. It was a call out on a calendar much in the same way National Donut Day would be recognized. But this year, I'm seeing it in my linkedin feed, I'm seeing it on facebook and at work. I'm receiving well wishes by text and instant private messages. And moreover, I'm doing it in return. I'm sharing well wishes. But here's the real difference for me. When we're sharing well wishes, we're sharing specific things we want to call out for our fellow women to lift them up. To me, this is the broad strokes difference between how men lead and how women lead. Some of the messages I received this am said things like (paraphrased): "thank you for leading the way for women's diversity, for making positive change and standing for something bigger than the job, being a woman I look up to." "Thanks for being open, supportive, strong and inspiring." "Thanks for being part of my network"...I've shared similar messages of admiration, appreciation and these are specific. Imagine if your male boss was specific about his appreciation for you. How would that look? What do you think he'd say.

I hope in reading this, the men in my network understand better how to lift others up and most importantly, how they can improve and impact more positively the confidence and leadership of women when the women working for them know that their efforts are actually seen and the impact of those efforts are recognized. Women #choosetochallenge themselves every day when they show up in their work and tap themselves of energy to progress their work. Men need to #choosetochallenge themselves to raise women of all origins up to equal footing, equal recognition, equal opportunity and equal pay, rights....on and on.

So today, on International Women's Day, thank you to the women in my network, whom I've consciously networked with because I admire and recognize the goodness you bring to the world through your work. Thank you to those women who have reached out to thank me and remind me of the impact I've made in your lives as well. Enjoy and spread the love. Let people know specifically how others have impacted you and your work!

Happy Women's Day!!