CHOOSE YOUR PURPOSE

The most profound piece of guidance I’ve had all week came from my amazing mentor and friend – Georgia Murch. I was in a group mentoring session and Georgia asked us to share what was working / not working for us during this time of COVID-19.

I shared my struggles with prioritising and feeling torn in multiple directions. There were so many things I could be doing that my choices were becoming paralysing. What was also becoming apparent was how quickly I was starting to spiral. The confinement, the isolation, the uncertainty - were starting to eat away at the edges of my psyche and creating feelings of helplessness. Even someone like me who is formally trained in positive psychology, meditation and mindfulness, was finding it challenging to stay positive.

Georgia snapped me out of it. She said, “Steph...choose your purpose”.

Clang. There it was. Make this time mean something valuable to me.

Experiencing a clear sense of purpose and significance in everyday life is a well-researched and validated contributor to psychological wellbeing. Dr Paul T. P. Wong, a clinical psychologist and Founder of the International Network on Personal Meaning, is a strong contributor to this body of knowledge.

Wong recognises that we have both positive and negative forces at play within our psyche – and a deep connection to meaning and purpose helps us cope with these anxieties and survive through what can seem impossible situations. Wong builds on the work of Victor Frankl, holocaust survivor and author of “Man’ Search for Meaning”. Frankl is famously quoted for emphasising we do not have a choice in what life throws our way, but we do have a choice in how we respond and make meaning of life’s challenges.

Dr Wong’s work has elevated the positive psychology movement beyond the pursuit of the ‘happy life’ to the pursuit of the ‘meaningful life’. “A meaningful life is a happy and fulfilling life, even when the process of searching for meaning may be unpleasant and costly.” (Wong, 2012, p. 11). This is much like finding fulfilment in difficult work like tending to sick and dying patients; developing a new vaccine under incredible pressure; or removing the bodies of the thousands of poor souls who’ve succumbed to this deadly virus.

By choosing your purpose, you stop playing the victim and instead weave your experience into something that adds value and meaning to your life. Your purpose gives you both energy and focus. It’s the fire in your belly that doesn’t burn out.

In an online session with a client group this week seeking support, I put the theory to the test and asked them all to choose their purpose at work, at home and personally.

Very quickly, this resourceful group of women were able to convert what were very real and significant challenges they were facing into meaningful opportunities that brought comfort, hope and relief.

If you too have experienced feelings of helplessness, I invite you to ask yourself three questions:

1) What is my work purpose through this time?

2) What is my home purpose through this time?

3) What is my personal purpose through this time?

And me?

My work purpose – read more, write more, and connect with my community.

My home purpose – enjoy this family time and teach my kids from the school of life.

My personal purpose – find daily moments of stillness and joy in yoga, meditation and the occasional glass of wine ;)

?Reference:

Wong, P.T.P. (Eds). (2012). “The Human Quest for Meaning: Theories, Research & Applications”. Routledge, NY. STEPHANIE BOWN

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MORE ABOUT STEPHANIE BOWN

Stephanie Bown is obsessed with performance and helping people move from simply functioning to fully flourishing. Since she was in her early teens, Stephanie has studied the deep inner workings of the mind and how people survive or thrive at work.

Having completed over 9 years of tertiary education and over 5 professional accreditations, Stephanie has devoted her life to discovering the dynamics of individuals, teams and organisations at work and lives to share her insights with her clients. Her mission is to deliver life changing learning experiences.

Stephanie Bown

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m: +61 439 044 940

?w: stephaniebown.com