Choosing Your Mentor part 3
I want to thank those of you who have read the previous two articles I’ve posted about choosing a mentor. In the first article, Choosing Your Mentor part 1, I laid out reasons why you might consider having a mentor or begin looking for one if you don’t have a mentor. In the second article, Choosing Your Mentor part 2, I explained what you need to look for in a mentor(s) and possible ways to find them. In this final installment, I’d like to discuss how to initiate the conversation with your potential mentor and build the relationship with them.
Humility is key when you have narrowed down your search to one or a few people you would like to mentor you. You want to acknowledge their experience and clearly lay out what your intentions are. Most people who are willing to be a mentor are generally altruistic and will see the potential of mentoring you. Some mentors may need some gentle encouraging to help them understand how having them as a mentor will be mutually beneficial. The more humble, open, and honest you are in this process, the greater your chances will become.
Asking great questions is your responsibility, not theirs. People typically respond in kind (Stephen Schiffman). If you ask a stupid or overly simple question you will get a stupid or simple response (read The Question Behind the Question). The more layered and deeper the question, the better the response you will likely get. One example I can give is a question I have asked repeatedly when I interview to the person I am interviewing with; who is your biggest competitor and who is your best competitor. In the example above you can easily see how your biggest competitor (question of size) may not always be your best competitor (question of content). Prior to meeting with a mentor I will make a list of questions I want to discuss and send them the list.
Boundaries are a very important in all aspects of life; you must learn how to set and establish great boundaries to have healthy, successful relationships. While you do want to be open about as much as you can, you may have non-disclosure agreements with your employer that could prohibit you from disclosing sensitive information. I have found that when conversation with mentors involve such subjects, you can speak cautiously in generalities and still get the answers you are seeking. It is also important to establish boundaries in regards to your personal and professional relationship with your mentor. Most mentors are grateful to help you both professionally and personally, but you both need to determine what is appropriate to discuss regarding your personal life and theirs too.
I truly hope these three articles have been helpful to you and appreciate you taking the time to read, like, and share it. Please feel free to ask questions or leave comments. If you would like me to send you a copy of the power point presentation I have created regarding this subject, please message me. I hope you all have great success in your current and future endeavors!