Choose To Be Thankful, Even When It's Hard

Which season of life are you in?

Going into a storm? In a storm? Coming out? Or perhaps in a season of blessing and abundance?

The holidays are a time of celebration as well as deep reflection, amplifying the circumstances and general feelings you currently have about your life. If you’re struggling to be thankful this holiday season due to difficult circumstances, the expectation of joy and excitement can be met with great sadness and disappointment.

During difficult times in my life when it’s been hard to be thankful, I’ve discovered a few helpful strategies.

First it’s important to recognize that gratitude is a choice; one made with the intention to look for the good in the midst of the bad.

1. Start With Where You Are

When life has knocked me down to some of my lowest points I learned that starting with where I am and focusing on the present moment, my physical surroundings, my body, and my senses, can be a helpful starting point for finding some good. Even during the toughest times I can thank God for the breath in my lungs and the peace I find in being still. When you are searching with intention you can simply go outside and find beauty all around. When I was suddenly struck with a debilitating illness after the birth of my son, I found gratitude and joy by simply holding him, focusing on the miracle of his birth, and staring into his big blue eyes.

2. Reframe Your Thinking

Reframing is an effective tool drawn from Cognitive Behavioral Therapy. Simply put, this is changing your thinking and perspective about a difficult situation and viewing it differently.

“It’s not what you look at that matters, it’s what you see”. ~ Henry David Thoreau

Neuroscintific studies have determined that on average, we have an estimated 50,000 thoughts per day. Reframing begins by first turning inward, becoming aware, and honing in on exactly what you are thinking. You can then begin to challenge the thought and question, “Is there a different way to think about what’s going on in my life?” From the example I gave earlier, I was able to reframe some of the negative thoughts I had about being sick that led to feelings of hopelessness, with thoughts of gratitude for the time I had with my baby that I wouldn’t have otherwise had if I’d gone back to work.

3. Reflect

Another intentional practice I engage in during difficult seasons is taking the time to reflect through meditation, prayer, and journaling, and asking myself a few key questions: “What lessons am I learning through this situation?” "Which part of my character is being developed? “How will I eventually be able to help others as a result of what I’m going through?”

Some of the lessons that came out of my illness was learning that I can give up control, I can allow others to take care of me, and I don’t have to be perfect all the time. I developed faith, trust, and patience. And I’m hoping that my reflections about this experience will help you as you read this whether you are going into a storm or coming out. And for all of this, I am truly grateful.

Our Thanksgiving holiday celebrated each year reminds us not only to be thankful for a day but directs us toward a way of life. Gratitude as a daily practice becomes a mindset which leads to an approach to viewing life and every situation you find yourself in.

So what are you thankful for?

If you found this helpful, I hope that you will pass it along to someone who might need it. I’d also love to hear from you!