Choose Success

I have long suggested that my preferred definition for success came in two parts. You need to be happy with where you have placed yourself in life (not necessarily satisfied, but are able to pursue your interests) AND you are happy with where you are going (your direction, your actions). At one point I heard the famous "Just do it" speech by AL Williams and although I liked it, I am not sure it sank in to the degree he meant it. Until now.

I have always thought of myself as someone who was happier when I did things my way. If I wanted to become a notary, I did it. If I wanted to see if I could get my mortgage license, I did it. If I wanted to see if I could get my doctorate degree, I did it. But giving yourself over to personal ambition in all areas of your life can daunting. SO many things we do are because 'we have to' for family, friends, or simply to meet financial obligations. Heaven forbid you make a mistake of some kind and need to deal with that also.

Another sad truth is that in too many cases also, you can find other people make choices that you find disappointing and that can drive you to become cynical. This type of baggage is an unintentional extra burden that you don't need. Stop thinking that people are disappointing you and realize they are simply on a different path. As an educator I have learned that you can't make someone do something even if it may be better for them. He or she needs to choose and then walk the path of those choices. So as another birthday approaches, like so many I am reflective and questioning, seeking to confirm choices and direction, when I asked myself, what if I just did what made me happy? Stop trying to please other people at the expense of your happiness. It doesn't mean you need to become a grouch or a jerk, but lead your life from the front instead of reacting to life. It is in this thought that I recognize that life on your terms can be a little scary at first.

You may have thoughts regarding consequences and that is not all bad, if you don't allow those concerns to mire you with inaction. I am NOT proposing you do anything illegal regardless, but how many of the choices could we change every single day that might allow us to live more on our own terms? I don't want to get up at 5:30am, then don't. If you are flooded with thoughts of negative consequences, change your pattern of thinking. Change your options. Choose success-as I defined it, as you define it. I can't speak for everyone, but I feel personally and professionally most happy and arguably successful when I complete a task because I wanted to and I did it the way I wanted to do it. That is personal freedom, success, and happiness.

We think that children may not notice negativity between two parents that should otherwise divorce and so they don't, but children and others notice. I am not justifying divorce because I think it should be a last resort to end a solemn commitment, but continuing any path just because you feel some responsibility to someone who doesn't share your vision, passion, or purpose is an excuse. Are we using families, friends, traditional goals, and obligations as excuses to not take action? If I want to, if you want to...take a trip to some place, do it. If I want to dip my hand in wax to make a mold because I haven't done it before (under appropriate supervision), do it! If you want to put a new invention out there, do it. If you want to take a day off to simply listen to the waves, do it. I am NOT advocating an immediate and reckless, radical departure from your current life choices, but start changing them today! Not tomorrow, today! Even mentally, start doing little things your way, today! Big progress comes in consistent small steps. Take your first step or next step, today! Choose success...and live life on YOUR terms. You are more likely to regret the things you haven't done more than those you did do because YOU wanted. Again, nothing hazardous to your health likes drugs is worth trying even once, but if you focus on the larger picture of living you might just be successful.

Truth...nobody ends up successful, they act successful, they are successful because of their attitude and actions. Success is a daily journey more then a final destination. Yes, you can reach different milestones, but huge financial success (if it is in your choices) comes from small daily victories piled up like stairs more than a one-time windfall. Accept no excuses, choose success for today, live happier, and realize the success you deserve.